Do you think you caused / contributed to your miscarriage? 74% of women do. Truth is you most likely didn’t.

Happened again, I was talking to a friend about nothing in particular, kids stuff, work stuff, the norm; then she started crying… “I did it, I blame myself, I caused my miscarriage”. Wow! My wonderful, friend, seemed to have all together, has this massive burden of guilt. In fact, turns out 74% of women feel this way.

The reality is doctors more often than not don’t know what causes a miscarriage. It is so common, over 1 million each year in the USA. 20-25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage…

So I listened, then I asked her why she felt this way… She just knew. The doctor hadn’t said had done anything; the doctor didn’t know why she had miscarried. I wanted to hug her and somehow get through to her that she didn’t do this… She had two beautiful children, a wonderful life. I so want to help her heal, to let go of the guilt and pain. She said she never would; it is her way of coping.

Why do women do this? Why is our inner voice so tough on us? Why do we bully ourselves?

I gave my friend a bracelet of hope… So she knows I am here for her. (read about it at ourhopeplace.com)

How did you heal from your miscarriage? Did you? I hope so, I hope you had a wonderful family and friends who surrounded you with love.

 

Beyonce, “(my miscarriage was) the saddest thing I’ve ever been through”

A thank you note to Beyonce… For sharing “the saddest thing…” her miscarriage. And then sharing her likely happiest, her new baby. Thank you for breaking the silence. For letting women who are suffering that they are not alone. That miscarriage is all too common, and that we need to help each other. And importantly, that there can be hope and happiness after.

9 years after my miscarriage I am still surprised that miscarriage remains a taboo subject. Why? It is too personal, it hurts too much, it makes us uncomfortable, we don’t know how to help, it’s too hard, it hurts too much, it’s too sad… Yes, it is all that. And the person suffering, what about her? If we do nothing, we leave her alone, suffering at a time she needs help most.

Want to help but not sure how? Want to know what do to, not to do, what to say and not to say? There is eve a little retail therapy if that interests you… I used personally and have shared many bracelets of hope. Visit ourhopeplace.com.

We started out trying to help friends help their friends cope, hope and heal after miscarriage…

Please pass along and share… Help others!

 

October is National Pregnancy Loss and Still Birth Awareness Month, signed by President Reagan

There are 50,000,000 miscarriages world wide each year… Yes, I wrote 50 MILLION.
If miscarriage is so common, why is it taboo to talk about? Why don’t we know how to help women who are suffering? So many questions, so few answers.

At http://www.ourhopeplace.com we want to help, specifically we want to help women who are suffering to cope, hope and heal. Why? Because we know what it is like, and frankly it sucks.

Visit www.ourhopeplac.com look at the 7 pieces of advice on how to help.

And if you would, light a candle on Oct 15th for all the moms who have suffered.

Thanks!

 

Helping Others Cope, Hope, and Heal After Miscarriage

While I wish miscarriage didn’t exist, it’s nice to know we can help each other with the healing. Take a read at the youthful homemaker. Christina, we feel your pain, and hope in some small way we have helped.

 

Sister Wives: Not a Viable Pregnancy

Last Night on Sister Wives Meri told of her infertility journey… Her loss, frustration, and anger.

As she told her journey, I heard those 4 ugly words… Not a viable pregnancy. Do they teach this at doctor sensitivity training? Really isn’t there a better way? How about some compassion?

Can you tell, I’ve heard these words too… You go to the doctors office… Excited to hear your baby’s heart beat.. Joy and hope and dreams consuming you, and then you are delivered a terrible blow. It is like having your heart ripped out, with a rusty, dull spoon.

I felt such pain for Meri. Not sure where she will end up with her desire to have another baby…

And just wanted to say how sorry I was to hear her story. My thoughts and prayers go out to her. I hope she can find ourhopeplace.com and/or her Sister wives can so they can help her!!!

 

“Sister Wives”: love them or hate them, they reflect the real side of infertility and miscarriage

Love them or not, admit it, we can’t help watching Sister Wives. I get all the negative stuff, plural marriage isn’t for me either. Instead, I draw parallels of the journey all 4 women have had while trying to have children. (get it too, there are a lot of kids… Not my point, just writing about the pain and loss they have suffered).

Think about yourself, your sisters, your sister in laws, best friends… Choose any 4, I suspect there has been infertility issues. Likely, more than one of you has felt the devastating pain of miscarriage. Another probably had some form of fertility help.

Meri has one child. While she would love more children, it seems she was lucky to have her one. At a time when she thought the idea of another child was behind her, she now seems to be open to having more children and trying. I am worried for her in that the promos seem like she has had a miscarriage. I will be watching on Sunday… Will you? I will be hoping she is doing well!

My one wish is that if she does have a miscarriage, that we offer support and not judgement. Miscarriage is devastating. While yes, it is her choice to live her life in the public eye. She didn’t choose to have a miscarriage. Let’s choose to be kind.

 

Guiliana Rancic expecting via surrogate … Finding Happiness post miscarriage and post breast cancer!

Guiliana and Bill Rancic’s are expecting a baby via surrogate this summer!

I love sharing and writing about happy stories post miscarriage. When 1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage, it is important to raise awareness of how common miscarriage is and how to help. It is also important to share that most pregnancies post miscarriage end with a healthy baby.

When I learned of Guiliana’s baby, I had a tear of joy in my eye.

She has bravely shared so much of herself… The highs of pregnancy. The lows/devastation of miscarriage. The lows/devastation of breast cancer. She has set an example that we don’t have to hide our losses and pains. We can seek help and support from others. And at Our Hope Place that is what we are trying to do… Demystify miscarriage and help people cope, hope and heal.

Much happiness to Guiliana and Bill! Get your sleep while you can!

 

Ibuprofen DOUBLES the Risk of Miscarriage; Even if you Take it the Night Before you Conceive.

So there seems to be a new medical report every day.  Often these reports conflict…  coffee is good for you, no it is bad, now it is good.  Same for red wine.

Well here is the latest, and I say why not be cautious.

Yes, that is right, there is a new study that shows ibuprofen DOUBLES the risk of miscarriage.  If one in 5 pregnancies (20%) ends in miscarriage.  If you take ibuprofen, this study now says your risk jumps to 2 in 5 (40%).  WOW!  But wait, they go even further to say, it isn’t just when you are pregnant, but you can’t take it the night before you conceive.

The study was carried out on comparing over 4,000 women aged between 15 & 45 and published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal.  Take a look…

 

 

 

Happy Mother’s Day to Mariah Carey

Congratulations to Mariah Carey and husband Nick Cannon on the birth of their twins –  a son named Moroccan Scott and a daughter named Monroe.   The twins arrived last Saturday in Los Angeles – just in time for Mother’s Day.  Mariah had previously suffered a miscarriage before having the twins.  Welcome little ones!!!

Full story of names of babies:

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b240080_mariah_careys_baby_names_announced_are.html

 

A woman suffers from miscarriage and is feeling alone… help her know she is not alone…

From a recent contact at OurHopePlace…

My name is Sarah, I am 25 years old. I found out on Saturday April 9,2011  that i was expecting a baby and i was really excited and scared at the same time! The baby’s dad was really upset and told me that he was not going to take part in the life of our child. So i got even more scared cause i knew that i would have to go through this alone! Sunday i started telling some friends and Monday April 10,2011  i was planing on telling my parents what was going on. Well that plan fell like rain on a rainy day i went to the bathroom and i had nothing but blood in the toilet! I had my mom take me to the ER and i got checked out and i lost the baby! I am having a really hard time with this cause not to many people know about this and i feel alone cause since the miss carriage i have lost some friends cause they said they don’t want me to be in there lives anymore. I have my mom to talk to but i need a friend and some one that has time to just sit and listen. I am still looking for that person! I was wondering if you guys could help in this process at all? I have looked at your site all day and i tell you what i have cried most of the time, some of it was good tears. I really think what you two have put together is something really special for someone like me and i hope that my grieving goes smooth like yours was.

Thanks for the time

Sarah

We have written back to Sarah so she knows she is not alone…  comment on this post if you would like to offer support as well (I am sure a kind word would go very far!)