June 2008


Well I was going to take the week off blogging for some R&R with my family, but I couldn’t resist writing on this… I was reading the July issue of Parents Magazine, and was very happy to see an article “Say the right thing”. It is all about personal crisis that women go through: miscarriage, divorce, infertility, sick child, when someone says something hurtful.

I love that they have a list of what to and what not to say. On Our Hope Place we have a complimentary list, we also add things you can do, and have a perspective test (an aide in thinking about what to say). I really think the most important thing is to say/do something. If there was a passing in someone’s family, would you not say something?

It is great that more and more miscarriage is something that is openly discussed. The purpose of this blog and OurHopePlace.com is to demystify miscarriage. We are all about friends helping friends cope, hope and heal after miscarriage. And we support anyone doing the same… so check out Parents Magazine (July issue)… and say something if you know someone who has a miscarriage.

From an email sent to OurHopePlace.com
How I wish you had this in 1991 when I had my first
miscarriage.  I remember how lonely and grief stricken I felt and how
hurt I was when friends and family acted like nothing had happened.
After all, I had two healthy, beautiful children, so losing one isn't a
big deal.( I actually had someone tell me that it was only tissue and
it wasn't like I got to know it and love it.  How wrong that person was!)
It happened again in 1992 right before Christmas
and it was a very sad holiday for me.  I never had any more children 
because I was so afraid of having my heart broken again.  So, for any
woman going through this now, they are lucky to have this site
(OurHopePlace.com)!
From an email sent to OurHopePlace.com

I seen your website  address in Redbook.  And had to go online 
and seewhat it was about. i had a miscarriage about 15 mths ago, 
and still feel pain and loss at times. I have a healthy 4 year 
old girl, and the miscarriage pregnanacy wasn't planned. My 
husband did not want the baby so he stated was a real relief when
I lost the baby, which made the grieving harder to go
thru by myself. Really had no friends or family who
ever reached out and am crying right now thinking
about it. I believe I have a tiny angel in Heaven that
I will meet some day. I was 9 weeks pregnant when I
lost the baby, no expanation for it. I will never
forget the night I sat in the bathroom from 1-3 am and
lost the "baby" in the toilet alone. I loved the
website.
From an email sent to Our Hope Place.
In 2002 I suffered two miscarriages and I
totally blamed myself. I was angry at everyone and then I was
depressed because I saw other happy families and wished that my children were
still there. My husband did everything to try to comfort me but I was
just going through life day by day not really caring and just hiding how
I truly felt. Now it is 2008 and I am 40 years old and still ache to
hold a child of our own.
From an email sent to Our Hope Place.
After going through 5 miscarriages, with no answers as to why, 
it is hard to find peace.  Your website is a wonderful idea, 
I wish some of my friends would have checked it out.  
I know they mean well, but none of them have been through 
this and they just don't understand the grief and the pain.

From an email sent to Our Hope Place.

i had a miscarriage 4 days ago and i had never expected this would happen to me.

i have three children and this baby would have been my 4th child i was
very excited when i found out i was pregnant and now the day before
this happen i had a name for the baby if it turn out to be a girl i was
sitting on my bed with my seven year old daughter and we were looking
at a pregnancy magazine together and i told her that i came up with the
name for the baby it was anastasie she told me that would be hard to
pronounce and i told her that the baby’s nickname can be lillie both
my girls were very excited and they called their dady and told him. and
now for the past four days all i can do i cry i can’t hardly eat or sleep.
i cannot be a mother to my children i feel so empty and feel this is
just a bad dream. i feel like this is a joke when i go to the doctor
she will tell everything is fine but i know it is just wishfull thinking.
i was about 7weeks pregnant when this happen to me i do not know how to
go on with my life and i am not ready to go back to work. i feel like i need time off to work this out.

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