October 2010


During October, we remember all babies born sleeping, or whom we have carried but never met, those we have held but could not take home, or the ones that came home but didn’t stay. Make this your status if you or someone you know has suffered the loss of a baby. Break the silence. In memory of all our lost angels…

 

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“Recovering After a Miscarriage: The Baby I Lost…” as seen in Glamour Magazine.

In Glamour Magazine’s September issue there is an article that I could really relate to (actual magazine – page 396 or http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/2010/08/recovering-after-a-miscarriage-the-baby-i-lost-and-the-life-she-gave-me.)

The article by Katharine O’Connell White called “Recovering After a Miscarriage: The Baby I Lost …and the Life She Gave Me” is about a woman (an ob-gyn herself) who passed out at work when she was seven months pregnant and went on to lose her baby due to medical complications.

Katharine talks about being “the patient” after usually being the doctor in these kinds of situations. I love how she candidly writes about many of the feelings and emotions that happen after a miscarriage:

– the “crushing grief” after she found out from her husband that she had lost her baby girl Samantha.

– how she ended up comforting the visitors who came to see her in the hospital until she was exhausted.

-the feelings she had when her husband Chad returned to work and “he reclaimed some normalcy before I could.” “Chad was moving on. It wasn’t his body; he wasn’t the one who almost died. I hated him, and envied him, for being OK. I wanted to be that strong.”

– not being able to celebrate/be happy once she was pregnant again. Katharine wrote, “I was pregnant again. I couldn’t take the same joy in it this time – no gifts, no shower, no talking about the baby.” “It wasn’t until I held my son in the recovery room that I really believed everything was OK.”

When you go through a tragedy like losing a baby/experiencing a miscarriage – you believe that you are the only one at that time who can ever feel so bad, lonely, sad, etc. When you can relate to someone else (by talking, reading an article or book) who has gone thru the same kind of loss , you can then see that you are not alone and start your healing journey.

Thanks to Katharine for sharing her story and as she puts it – “How do you find strength in the face of tragedy? The honest answer is you don’t. You take a breath, then another. You simply keep going.” Or as we like to say – you find a new normal. Please visit www.OurHopePlace.com if you have experienced a miscarriage or are looking for ways to help a friend/loved one who has experienced a misacarriage.

So much going on in the fall…  back to school, leaves changing color, and pumpkins.  Not to mention football, tailgating, and having fun.  This October is the 22nd anniversary of President Ronald Regan declaring October Miscarriage Awareness Month.

At OurHopePlace.com we aim to demystify miscarriage…  there are over 1 million each year in the US alone.  Most people are left alone and suffering.  We want to change this…  on our website you can find lots of information as well as a bracelet that can help…  the most important thing is to acknowledge the loss!!!

Please pass along!  Thanks!

Just reflecting today about miscarriage loss, and why is it a secret.  Why are people left alone and suffering.

Answer these questions… who did you tell when you had a miscarriage?  Did you tell anyone?  Everyone?  Now think, if you suffered the loss of a family member or friend, who would you tell?  Is your list different?  I bet it is.

Yes, miscarriage is so personal.  Yes, we can feel like it is our fault.  Yes, there are so many reasons…  Together we can change this!  How, let people know you had a miscarriage…  post here, send a photo, send a note to OurHopePlace.com

Join us, let people know.  Let people help you!

Devastated!  Kelsey and his girlfriend are devastated.  I understand all too well.  Anyone who has suffered a miscarriage knows…  all 1 million of us (each year in the US alone) know.

While I am sorry for Kelsey and his girlfriend’s loss, I am so happy they are brave enough to come forward and share their loss.  Maybe by them coming forward they will raise awareness of miscarriage loss, show how healing begins with acknowledgement, and in time, find peace.

That is our mission at OurHopePlace.com We want to demystify miscarriage.  We give ideas on how to acknowledge loss.  We have an amazing bracelet of hope that helps with healing – I know, I used it myself and have given it to many friends and family.

If you will indulge my tangent, wanted to share, I just gave a bracelet to a friend last week.  She just found out she is pregnant for the 7th time…  3 wonderful children, 3 miscarriages.  She was so worried about this pregnancy; I gave her my bracelet.  She was thrilled…  and her sonogram this week looked good – keeping positive thoughts!

Back to the subject at hand…  I hope there is much support for Kelsey and his girlfriend (wish I knew her name).  May they find peace and hope…

 

Recently I met a woman,  by all appearances she has a happy, wonderful life.  Great family, including 3 beautiful children, and pregnant with her 4th (due any day – yeah).  But she confided in me that she had  had 3 miscarriages, one prior to each child, and she was terrified with this pregnancy.  Even with only a few days left, she thought she couldn’t stop worrying until she held her baby in her arms.  WOW! (And yes, there were tears in my eyes.)  She also felt like she didn’t want to jinx anything by talking that much about it.  I gave her my bracelet from OurHopePlace…  told her the history, how it is about friends helping friends cope, hope and heal after miscarriage.  How it is a bracelet of hope.  She was very happy to have a bracelet.

It dawned on me, that my new friends miscarriage history is all too common.  I know / have met a number of women who have suffered multiple miscarriages in and around pregnancies that have gone full term.  Interestingly some of the women knew “exactly what the cause was” and knew some precautions to take.  Good!  Others are not so lucky.  My thoughts and prayers go out to them all!!!

On Friday, October 1, 2010 – I happen to catch part of ABC‘s TV show – The View and found myself tearing up for their guests.  The topic was: Bill & Giuliana Rancic Discuss Their Miscarriage. 

Both Bill and his wife were very frank about their emotions and thoughts during their months of  trying to have a baby.  Giuliana talked about her miscarriage and feeling guilty about losing the baby which turned into thoughts of “what is wrong with me/my body.”  Bill expressed thoughts of trying to stay strong for his wife and upon hearing his wife blaming herself for the miscarriage he said, “It broke my heart.” 

Sherri Shepherd and Barbara Walters (co-hosts of The View) are also miscarriage survivors and had great things to say to the couple.  Sherri went on to have her son after losing a twin girl and Barbara adopted a daughter after a few miscarriages.

Whoopi Goldberg (co-host) also had something very sweet to say to the couple – the idea that they had a visitor (the miscarried baby) that came to see if they were ready and he would return soon.

Thank you to both Bill & Giuliana for being strong enough and candid enough to share both sides of their miscarriage – the woman’s view & the man’s view.  I hope that other miscarriage survivors were able to see they are not alone in their grief.  For the full story – go to: http://theview.abc.go.com/blog/friday-bill-giuliana-rancic-discuss-their-miscarriage

http://www.OurHope Place.com has a section of how men and women grieve differently – http://www.ourhopeplace.com/PaulaLevyExpert.html