From a contact at OurHopePlace.com

What I wish I knew at 20 that I know now…
When you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, remember that every job you take, mistake you make or relationship you leave are allstepping stones down the path of the person you are meant to be. Even though you can’t see it now, you have a purpose and a destiny that will be revealed as time goes on. So be patient and open to the experiences that life brings you. And, enjoy the journey!

-Angela

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Hi www.OurHopePlace.com,

To answer the question: What advice would I give my 20-year old self, knowing what I know now:

  1. Beer does not make you smart or sexy; and
  2. ‘Shock value’ is not a good reason to get married.

Susan

Advice from the Blender

Driftword Creative Services, LLC

email: driftword@cox.net

web: www.driftword.com

web: www.advicefromtheblender.com

blog: http://blog.advicefromtheblender.com

If I could’ve given my 20 year old self wise words, here’s what they would’ve been (from two books I read in my late 20’s/early 30’s):

1.  “Now that I don’t have to be perfect, I can be good.” (from East of Eden ) The pressure to have everything be perfect, or to be perfect myself, was deeply damaging and pushed me to make some really bad decisions and led me to always comparing my worst to other people’s best (which is all we usually get to see of them.)  In my teens and early 20’s, I would keep trying to tweak things, keep searching for “just the right” thing/person/place.  I passed up opportunities, and some really nice men, because either they didn’t look good enough – or I thought I didn’t.  I was chronically late everywhere because I had to be sure that my appearance was “just so.”  Heaven forbid if I broke a perfectly manicured nail!  I’m proud that one of my teen son’s favorite expressions is “pretty good’s good enough” – he tries his best and leaves it at that.  I’ve learned to do just that, too, though sometimes I still need a reminder.  😉

2.  “Remember it’s written in the Good Book that trouble shall come to pass, but nowhere is it written, child, that trouble shall come to stay.” (from another novel, don’t remember the name, but a grandmother was speaking to her teenaged granddaughter.)  Not only did this apply to recovering from mistakes or failures, it was especially helpful in the area of relationships.  I was one of those girls who felt everything in the extreme so I believed that every mistake would be fatal, or at least “ruin my life forever!”  Because I loved deeply, without reservation and with commitment, I believed everyone else did, too, so when a relationship ended, it felt like a part of me died as well and I would never recover.  I did, and went on to have other great loves and successes.  In my mid-30’s I managed a customer service department in a high-stress medical field so any little mistake we made – missed a shipping deadline, made a typo so the wrong sized product was sent, etc. – could have had a negative impact on a patient’s health and well being at worst, sent a prestigous doctor into a rage or, at the least, screwed up the hospital’s, doctors’ and patients’ schedules for a day or two.  So naturally we each had days when we felt like we carried the weight of the world because we’d slipped up on something.  One of my reps made a little needlepoint tapestry that said “And this too shall pass” and we hung it on the front wall.  When one of us was having one of those days, it moved to our cubicle so we could read and reflect on it to regain our equalibrium.  It always helped so by the time we left, or at least returned in the morning, we were back on track and the plaque was back on the wall.
Alicia

Dear OurHopePlace.com,

I have been through many challenging experiences including: going from homelessness to attending Harvard; healing from a near-fatal car crash and multiple family deaths.

I wish I had known then what I know now about happiness and support.  It is one of my mantras and is in the attachment.
Have a blissful day,

Dawn
The Bliss Guide
SPISE BLISS

“Do what you love, be with those you love, and your whole life falls into Bliss.”  D. T. Clare
A little about Dawn:  I am The Bliss Guide, intuitive coach and business consultant, with a Harvard MBA.  I am President of a company, SPISE BLISS, that sells products and services which expedite bliss, success, wealth and well being.  I have consulted with both organizations and individuals including Jerry Levin, former Chairman, Time Warner.  I have been featured in several publications including:  The Albany Times Union, Awareness Magazine,  The Dallas Morning News, Goddess Queen Magazine, Harvard Business School Alumni Magazine, National MBA Magazine, The New York Times, Plug LA, and WorkWise Syndicated Column.  In addition, I was on Fox News, NBC TV and LA Talk Radio.
From the ripe young age of 51, I can say unequivocally that at 20 I wish I’d known to hold still until my mission in life came to me. My twenties were a shotgun attempt at fulfillment; when I hit 30, I learned that my mission was creating peace on earth through individuals, through teaching about inner peace, and knowing it has made for a much easier life.
 
So to those in your 20s, yes, work by all means, and spend your inner time seeking your purpose here on earth. It will make EVERYTHING easier!
 
I write a blog on peace for Ode Magazine. check it out if you would like – thought your readers would be interested:   http://www.odemagazine.com/people/Susan%20Corso/blogs
 
Be blest,
Dr. Susan Corso
 
 
“You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
                                                        Eleanor Roosevelt

HI OurHopePlace.com,

My advice:  I wish I had known that being fully who I am and not being like some else is the key to happiness and fulfillment. Comparing myself only leads to heart ache.

MY Bio:   Jennifer Howard, Ph.D. is an internationally known licensed psychotherapist, Integrated Kabbalistic Healer®, Integrated Energy Healerlife coach, author, relationship expert and professional speaker. She is a co-founder of the Healing Path Center and maintains a private practice with offices in New York City and Huntington , L.I., New York , as well as an extensive phone practice. As a psychotherapist, Dr. Howard brings together her more than 20 years of experience, extensive training and expertise in mind-body psychology, meditation, and a variety of the healing arts. She has been a faculty member of the graduate studies program of A Society of Souls and is currently a supervisor.

drjenniferhoward.com.    

Warmly,    Jennifer Howard, Ph.D.

 

 

Dear OurHopePlace.com,

People tell me I am very wise for my age.  I remind them that wisdom comes at a price; I’ve made a lot of mistakes that have served as a backdrop to who I am today.

There are seven things I know for certain today that I wish I would have known when I was 20.

1)      Enjoy every day.  If you spend all of your time thinking about /living where you “want to be” you will miss everything you have right now – the moments, the people, the relationships, the youth, the energy.  You may or may not achieve your goals or dreams – but if you live today thinking exclusively about them, planning for them, and living in your dream for tomorrow, you will lose today in the process.

2)      Your success is not based on what other people think of you.  Your success is based on who you know in your own skin and your own soul that you are.  If others think you’re smart, it doesn’t make you any more or less intelligent – and the same goes for every other characteristic.  If you like yourself, and you know yourself better than anyone, then let them think what they will.

3)      Just because other people look happy – just because they look like they’ve got it all together – or they tell you they’ve got it all together, doesn’t mean they do.  It just means they’re good at painting a picture.  It’s up to you to decide if it’s more important to you to be happy or to paint a picture of happiness for others to see.  Everybody laughs sometimes.  Everybody cries.

4)      Don’t try to be older.  Don’t try to look older or to get into bars before you’re 21.  You will age soon enough, and when you do, you will look back at the figure you have today, the skin you have today, the health and the energy you have today, and you will miss the woman you are right this very minute. 

5)      Try to treat yourself as kindly as you will wish you treated yourself 20 years from now.  You are your own best friend, and you are your own worst enemy – and only you, only you, can decide which role you want to invest more time in developing.

6)      Love your mother.  She has probably done something to mess you up – something you will inevitably need therapy for someday.  But she loves you the best she can.  For some moms, that love comes with really steep limitations.  But all moms love their kids the very best they know how.

7)      And one more thing.  Listen more. When you are alone, listen to yourself.  When you are in nature, listen to the wind and the sounds that surround you.  It is only natural for our bodies to yearn to be in concert with nature.  And when you are with others, even if you are not interested in what they have to say, listen.  If you really want to be a hero, if you really want to be appreciated and loved and invited out, listen.  Really listen.  The No. 1 thing most people crave in this world, regardless of what they tell you, is to be heard.

And that’s it.  That’s all I’ve got.  But it’s a primer that would have served me well if I wouldn’t have had to spend 15 years learning these key lessons the hard way.  Hope this adds hope and inspiration to your blog.

Kind regards,

Debra Yergen

Author, Creating Job Security

www.creatingjobsecurity.blogspot.com

www.graduategroup.com 

Note from Our Hope Place:  Given the economic environment we are all facing, Creating Job Security (blog and book) might be a helpful thing for us all…  Also check out the Graduate Group (publisher of Creating Job Security); their business sounds very cool and supportive of women authors, any asiring authors out there, should check them out…