From a recent contact to OurHopePlace.com:
For medial reasons, I had an abortion of my twins. I, as well, feel a sense of loss, but additionally a sense of overwhelming responsibility.
I’d enjoy to see articles related to those who had some actual choice in the loss of their children, and although, probably the best choice still have deep regrets, as well as loss.
They were due in a couple of weeks and I cannot stop thinking about them, and if I should have taken the chance. Seeing the “Baby’s first christmas” ornaments out there puts me into a depressive state.
I have discussed it to some extent with my counselor. (It is just not as easy to move on, as people expect it to be)
Being that this is the time of year that the twins were due, … and that I need to maintain some semblance of stability. Nearly everything related to babies puts me into tears. The thought of getting a Christmas tree puts me into tears. I have made ornaments for each of us in the family, including our pets. I know the twins were fraternal, but have no idea the sex of either. They obviously did not have names. I just cannot let go of seeing the silouette of one of their faces during the ultrasound.
The level of responsibilty I feel is just overhwelming to me at this point. Thank you for your support. Family just does not understand why I am not in the holiday spirit (for those who don’t know), or why I haven’t come to realize that I just haven’t moved on.