October 2008


From a recent comment to www.OurHopePlace.com,

Dear Our Hope Place,
I was 27yrs and 4 mo pregnant when I miscarried. It would have been my first baby.I read about this website (www.OurHopeplace.com) in a magazine and was relieved. To be honest I struggled for a long time majority of it in secret. Its like noone understood what I was going through. My sister was pregnant with #5 and my 2 BFF’s gave birth to baby #2 a couple months prior. Here I was not woman enough to even carry a baby to full term, I mean thats how I felt,like a failure. I felt lonely, depressed, angry at myself like what could I have done differently. People are so quick to say it just wasn’t meant to be or get over it your not the only one.God helped me thats who has gotten me thru this. There needs to be more sites like this for women like me,who feel like I’m the only one going thru this. Thank you and God Bless.
-Angie

I was reading my October Issue of Parents Magazine… it had the usual helpful parenting and Halloween tips. I was however, delighted to see a great article “The Latest News About Miscarriage … Scientists know more than ever about what causes it – and which moms may be at higher risk”.

The article goes into:
– common causes of miscarriage
– the newest theories (including caffeine, pain pills, obesity, folate, and infection)

At www.OurHopePlace.com, we are glad to see this for a number of reasons:
1) Parents has done a great job keeping information about miscarriage in the forefront… given 1 in 5 pregnancies ends in miscarriage (1 million each year in the US), this is a common issue, impacting many of us. We totally applaud them keeping this topic top of mind – this helps women.

2) Most people associate October with Fall, change of season, going back to school, and usually Breast Cancer Awareness. It seems to be a little known fact, that it is also miscarriage month. In fact, this October is the 20th anniversary of President Regan making October miscarriage month.

3) With each passing day we learn more about miscarriage… I am happy to see that Parents Magazine is helping share the information! With knowledge comes our ability to make positive changes to help ourselves.

Click here to see the article.

Dear www.OurHopePlace.com,

I suddenly lost a boy when I was 22 1/2 weeks along in 2005. We were stunned – our house was in shambles because we were prepping his room. We knew on the way to the hospital he was not going to be with us, but the nurses seemed to tiptoe around that fact until we point blank said to them – we know he’s not viable, just tell us what’s going to happen next. It was a horrible, stunning experience but it strengthened us and we were determined to try again. We had another beautiful boy in 2006. He’s about to turn 2 and he is the joy of our lives. I am now pregnant again with a girl, due in December… she’s our little surprise. 🙂

I think what surprised me about our experience was finding out how many women experience a loss. Even though our late loss was quite rare (about 1% of the cases) I had no idea how common miscarriage is. Women I’ve known for years and women who were merely acquaintances would tell me their stories. That communication was so valuable to me. I think it is so important that women feel it’s okay to talk about it. It is not shameful. You are not defective.

I hope my story will give others hope,
Marti

Dear www.OurHopePlace.com,

Just to give you perspective, I suffered multiple miscarriages (five) from the time I was 26 until I was about 31. It was devastating. I did go on to have two beautiful, healthy children and have had no additional losses since (I am now 38). I tend not to reflect on my losses now but I would relive every moment of them again if I knew it would end the same way (with my children).

Perhaps this perspective will help others.

-Kristin

Hi www.OurHopePlace.com,
Thank you for creating your website. I could have used it when I went through my miscarriages 2 – 5 years ago. Here’s my survival story.
Thank you,
Lori

After four devastating miscarriages, I went on to carry a baby to full term. Here’s a quick recount of my miscarriages.

#1 There was never any heartbeat. I started to miscarry at the grocery story (sweating, cramping) and had to rush home. I was 7 weeks along. Advil helped with the cramps.

#2 The egg and the sperm met but nothing happened. I miscarried on my birthday and the due date of my first pregnancy. Since this pregnancy wasn’t very far along, the miscarriage was like a really heavy period with a lot of cramping.

#3 Perhaps the most devastating. There was a heartbeat during one sonogram and then the baby died and there wasn’t any heartbeat during the second sonogram. This was one of the few times I had seen my husband cry.

After this sonogram, we decided infertility tests were in order. Husband has incredibly low sperm count. With his low sperm count it was amazing that he was getting me pregnant. I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and was put on Glucophage to control my blood sugar and told to eat a low glycemic diet. The fertility specialist did see some scar tissue in my uterus. Possibly from the miscarriages.

I got pregnant and miscarried baby number four and decided to go in for a D&C to see why I was having all these miscarriages. I passed all the other miscarriages naturally. The D&C did not reveal anything wrong with me. It was a typical miscarriage with an “abnormality in chromosome number 16.”

After being on Glucophage for more than two years, I weaned myself off and decided to control my blood sugar and continue with my healthy eating habits.

Things that helped after all these miscarriages: Doing something nice for myself. Getting a pedicure, buying some wonderful-smelling bath gel and taking a bath and writing the experiences down in my journal.

A little over a year later, I got pregnant again. This one carried to term and my daughter was born on January 9, 2007.

Here are my theories on why I was able to sustain this pregnancy:
The D&C had cleaned out that scar tissue.
Getting off of Glucophage.
I had done two herbal cleanses to clean my system out of toxins.
The month I got pregnant, was the first time in my life that I had forgotten to mark an X on calendar at the start of my period. I had finally let go. It’s very true about how stress can alter your cortisone levels and cause unknown stress in your body. I had finally found a peaceful state with my infertility situation and that’s when it happened.

Hi www.OurHopePlace.com

    I had just announced my first pregnancy to my family when I started spotting. I went from exhileration to panic in just a few hours. I cancelled a business trip and rested but the doctor said that there was nothing that could be done. I was miserable. When I told my friends and family what had happened, many shared with me their stories of miscarriages. I hadn’t realized that so many others had gone through what I just did. That really helped me to deal with the sadness. The good news is that I did get pregnant again that year and I now have a wonderful daughter.

    Regards,
    Laura

Hello www.OurHopePlace.com,
I have a miscarriage story to share.

In early 2000 after being married for 7 years, my husband and I found out we were pregnant! It was exciting and scary at the same time. I had just stopped taking the pill 2 months before. We waited a couple weeks before we told our friends and co-workers, but then we told EVERYONE. At 11.5 weeks pregnant, our best friends’ 2-month-old baby daughter died of an undiagnosed heart condition. It was indescribable. Two days later, I had a doctor’s appt for my pregnancy. They could not find the heartbeat, and seemed rather alarmed considering I am a thin person and it should’ve been easy. The next day, the worst was confirmed via ultrasound. “Fetal demise” they called it. I was shocked and my husband was out of town on business until that evening. That same night was the funeral for our friends’ baby daughter. It’s odd, but one of my initial thoughts was that this was going to somehow help our friends get through their grieving process. It actually did I think, because we grieved together. That same week I had a D&C, which I struggled with whether I wanted to do it or not.

For 6 months I felt emotionally devastated. My husband was saddened too, but found it difficult to talk about it anymore. Friends and family didn’t always understand, but generally wanted to be comforting. I cried out to God to gain understanding and He answered. I found every Bible verse that related to God’s promises regarding children. I underlined them. I read them out loud. I claimed them as my right as one of God’s children. I believed in my heart that my prayers would be answered. They were the next month. When it was time for the hearing the heartbeat appointment, I cried with joy when they found it. Our son Christian was born 5 weeks early. Three years later, our daughter Karissa was born 8 weeks early. Both are healthy, happy little blessings!

During the miscarriage ultrasound, I remember the tech and the doctor saying “there is evidence of a second one…” and I can only assume that meant a twin. At that time, I had no clue that I had a medical condition with my uterus that would have made carrying twins to term or even close, impossible. Looking back, I can see how everything has been worked out for my good.

-Krista Dunk
Co-Founder, Koinonia Business Women
www.KBwomen.com
www.KBwomen.blogspot.com