From a recent contact to….

…this is all I can look forward to…Hope. I am 30 years old, my husband and I have been together for 15 years, married for 4. We waited to start a family until we purchased our first home. We have been in our first home a year in May and decided in December to throw caution into the wind and try for a baby. To our amazement we were pregnant the first month we tried, i took a test Christmas morning and gave it to him as a gift, the day before New Years Eve I started spotting and lost it. I was only 5 weeks. I wasn’t going to let this get me down, it was one of the hardest things I have gone thru and I just kept myself going by saying we’ll just keep trying. I saw the doctor, waited a month for a regular period and we tried again.

Okay so everyone thinks I’m Fertile Myrtle and I was pregnant again in one months time. I kept stressing and over analyzing every ache and twinge and my doctor saw me at 7 weeks to check for a heartbeat, she saw the sac and thought she saw the flutter but i was a bit earlier then she thought so she she sent me for a more in depth scan the next day, they saw the appropriate size sac but no heartbeat, but told me it was too soon. I went and had additional blood work 3 days later (yesterday) and got the call while I was at work today that my Hormone levels were at 11,000 on Friday and on Tuesday only 15,000 when they should be doubling. My Doctor said i will lose this baby too, i am 8 weeks today, going back on Saturday for a “Peace of Mind” scan to see there is no heartbeat.

All I keep thinking is what did I do wrong this time or what is wrong with me. Why can I conceive but not keep the baby? My Doctor also said they normally wont start testing for issues until I have had 3 miscarriages. I don’t think I can go thru a 3rdmiscarriage.

Thanks for letting me talk.




Just to give you perspective, I suffered multiple miscarriages (five) from the time I was 26 until I was about 31. It was devastating. I did go on to have two beautiful, healthy children and have had no additional losses since (I am now 38). I tend not to reflect on my losses now but I would relive every moment of them again if I knew it would end the same way (with my children).

Perhaps this perspective will help others.


From a recent contact at,

I delivered a healthy daughter the first time I was pregnant. But I suffered five miscarriages before I had my second child five years later. I was diagnosed with a translocation (two chromosomes with switched parts, frequently leading to early miscarriage) and underwent IVF in attempt to pick healthy embryos — it didn’t work (I had a miscarriage anyway). Eventually I was able to become and stay pregnant naturally.

I think that when you’re suffering from secondary infertility people can be even more cruel, mostly out of ignorance. People assume that if you have an only child that it’s just by choice, especially if you’re young. They’re always peppering you with questions about when you’re going to have another. I was also around so many shallow women who would say things, such as, “I only want a girl.” But perhaps most upsetting were the inconsiderate things people who knew my situation said, including doctors (“You should just be glad you have a child already”), insinuating that wanting two children was greedy or that you obviously didn’t appreciate your first child.

Good luck to those who are trying. Try to find at least one sympathetic ear that you can vent to (not a spouse) – it does feel better to talk to someone who understands.