While I wish miscarriage didn’t exist, it’s nice to know we can help each other with the healing. Take a read at the youthful homemaker. Christina, we feel your pain, and hope in some small way we have helped.

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After suffering a miscarriage, many women feel very alone with their thoughts and feelings.  Thank you to Celine Dion & Mariah Carey for going public with their miscarriages and candidly talking about how they got through their devastating experience.  By demystifying miscarriage and talking about it openly – whether to your friends, family or to the public – we help one another not to feel so alone.

Good News for Celine & Mariah:

On October 23, 2010 Celine Dion gave birth to healthy twin boys named Nelson (named after Nelson Mandela) and Eddy (named after Eddy Marnay)! Congratulations Celine, René, and René-Charles!

In the last week Mariah Carey and husband Nick announced they were pregnant again and doing well.

When your body betrays you, it is natural to wonder why?  To question, to doubt just about everything.  That is how I felt after my miscarriage.  I need to heal my body, yes of course, my mind certainly and my soul, definitely.  That was 6 years ago…

Fast forward to today.

I hurt my foot and am not able to do high impact exercise while it heals.   I decided to try yoga – I wanted something that I could do for life…  I found a great place, Black Bird Yoga.  they have an amazing introduction to yoga class.  2 hrs on Sunday (theory and yoga), unlimited classes during the week (I made it to three), and then 2 more hours on Sunday.

WOW!  I LOVE IT!  And, I so wished I thought to do yoga when I was recovering from my miscarriage (NOTE:  there are some yoga moves you should not do while pregnant.  Please see professional advice about yoga if you think you might be/are pregnant, especially if you have had a miscarriage).

While recovering from my miscarriage, I remember my mind racing!  That was why the bracelet of hope from OurHopePlace.com was so great.  It helped me stop the racing.  I wish I had done yoga as well!

When I do yoga I feel so peaceful…  I am able to block my worries; if a pesky thought/worry sneaks in, I kick it right out.  I can deal with it later.   Yoga is a chance to do something for me…  just for me.  I don’t get much time like that – it feels indulgent.

Post yoga I am calm, I can think clearly, and my body feels great.  I can see improvement in a short period of time…  I think I am hooked.

I still think about my miscarriage most days… it is especially hard b/c I always thought I would have at least 2, more likely 3 children.  When my son wishes for a sibling, it is so difficult – how can you explain to a 3 yr old?  Then my mom mentions she is donating all the baby items in her home to the church – a great thing, I know the items will go to good, needy homes – yes, we should do this, but yes ANOTHER reminder …  it is painful, it is always painful!  Sometimes I just cry, then I reach for my bracelet (those of you have been following along with me know I have a bracelet from a friend from www.OurHopePlace.com that I use to distract me, to help me think positively – and it helps!)

So here is my thinking positively:

What a day,…  I think this summarizes my day, “it’s more good than bad”.  

1st day of the week was rainy…  people were cranky…  yet it was more good than bad – had one really fun meeting!  

Arrived home to kisses from husband and son…  definitely, always good!

Waited until 9 PM to hear how my Aunt’s surgery went, also more good than bad (no cancer this time — yeah!)

I exercised for 50 minutes today!  

It was a good day, more good than bad!

 

I was watching E! Hollywood True Story (yes, really, I like it), the one about Goldie Hawn and Kate Hudson.  Two women that always seem happy, having fun.  Goldie said one thing that really hit me, you need to find your inner light, the one that made you happy as a child.  Wow…  she is right, there is this innocent glow that children have.  One that you often lose/fade as you gain life experience.  But what if you could keep hold of it?  What if you could find it again?  What if even after your loss of innocence, your loss of baby, you could find that light again?  Sounded good to me.  Sounded like optimism+.  

Seeking/nourishing that inner light.  Living now, in the moment.  Finding happiness in where you are, in what you are doing…  sounds good.  I am up for it.  How about you?   

 

 

In the last week I have finally started to see, hear, smell and feel spring. Living in the northeast I really love this time of year because it represents hope to me of the warm weather yet to come (especially if the winter has been particularly cold.) Crocuses are the first flowers to appear around our house signaling the start of the flower burst. Seeing the daffodils start as green, finger-like leaves poking up out of the ground to finally become what my daughter calls “sideways teacups and saucers” gives a little lift to my day. It is as if I can feel a “smile” starting deep inside my body, which is slowly making its way to my face.

Hearing the birds in their crazy chorus as a take my daily walks, smelling the onion grass (so far the only grass growing in our yard) and feeling the sun on my face through the spring breeze actually starts to make me feel lighter. I breath in a little deeper as the weather gets better and start to “notice” my world around me more. I try to figure out why I feel like this. Is it because there is more to notice – green grass, colorful flowers, buds on trees and squirrels scurrying – as opposed to the gray colors of winter? Does the breeze actually smell different in the spring than the winter? All I know for sure is that I have a feeling inside that gets stronger everyday. I want to spend more time outside, I don’t want the sun to go down and I can’t wait for the next day to start.

After having my miscarriage I was optimistic that I would someday feel better – whatever that meant. I did not know at the time how long that would take and I tried to look for signs everyday that I was heading in the right direction. “Noticing” the world around me, looking for the new “thing” of the day and emotionally feeling a little lighter as my healing journey from my miscarriage continued, I realized that I was experiencing my own transition from a darkness to a brightness. Although I would never forget the baby I lost, I knew I was ready to try again to be a mom. The smile had returned to my face. So now every March through June, I give myself time to enjoy what I see, hear, smell and feel – realizing that my journey to becoming a mom to two great kids was a lot like the season of spring.