This year Mother’s Day is May 13.  If you have had a miscarriage, Mother’s Day can bring on a whole range of emotions and thoughts of what could have been.  Even if many years have passed since your miscarriage, you may be surprised about how you feel.  Happy and sad thoughts may sprinkle your day.  We know this all too well because we are two women who have experienced miscarriage and have gone on to heal.  We created Our Hope Place (www.OurHopePlace.com) in order for friends to help friends cope, hope and heal after miscarriage.

 Here are some suggestions to get you through the day:

-Recognize your true feelings.  Don’t hide or discount them.  Part of you may want to celebrate Mother’s Day because you are a mom to the baby you lost.  You may want to celebrate with the other “moms” in your life.  Ask your spouse or a family member to be your “soft place” that day.  Whenever you need a break, let this person take care of you.  

-Be kind to yourself on Mother’s Day.  Do not criticize yourself for how you are feeling or put pressure on yourself.   Be your best friend and make the day special to you.

-Plan ahead to do something meaningful that will bring a smile to your face.  Plant a flower or tree to remember your baby.  Take a walk with your spouse.  Go to church and say a prayer.  Get together with the important women in your life.  Laugh with your family.  Even stay under the covers and read a great book.

-Don’t be afraid to say “NO”.  Do what you need to do on Mother’s Day even if it means not participating in traditional family events.  If you can find the words, explain why you would rather not participate to your family.  (“Right now I am feeling too emotional to be with everyone on Mother’s Day.”)  If that is too difficult, maybe your spouse or close relative can explain how you are feeling and why you will not be there on Mother’s Day.

-Try to focus on the positive.  Being grateful for what we already had in our lives and thinking positively is what helped us with our healing process and led us to create Our Hope Place  (www.OurHopePlace.com).  We decided to share our friendship, a special bracelet of hope and it’s inspiring story to help other women who have also experienced miscarriage. 

Only by being true to yourself and celebrating Mother’s Day in your own way will you will be able to remember your loss, continue with your healing process and look to the future.

Here’s to celebrating Mother’s Day your way,

Laura & Sharon

Co-Founders www.OurHopePlace.com

 

 

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I remember the Mother’s Day after my miscarriage… we had a great lunch with spectacular wines…  I did as much as I could to focus on the positive.  We think we conceived our son that day as well…  but I know going through the day was hard.

So ere are some suggestions to help get you through the day:

Recognize your true feelings.  Don’t hide or discount them.  Part of you may want to celebrate Mother’s Day because you are a mom to the baby you lost.  You may want to celebrate with the  other “moms” in your life.  Ask your spouse or a family member to be your “soft place” that day.  Whenever you need a break, let this person take care of you.

Be kind to yourself on Mother’s Day.  Try not to (read, don’t) criticize yourself for how you are feeling or put pressure on yourself.   Be your best friend and make the day special to you.

Try doing something meaningful that will bring a smile to your face.  Plant a flower or tree to remember your baby.  Take a walk with your spouse.  Go to church and say a prayer.  Get together with the important women in your life.  Laugh with your family.  Even stay under the covers and read a great book.

Don’t be afraid to say “NO”.  Do what you need to do on Mother’s Day even if it means not participating in traditional family events.  If you can find the words, explain why you would rather not participate to your family.  (“Right now I am feeling too emotional to be with everyone on Mother’s Day.”)  If that is too difficult, maybe your spouse or close relative can explain how you are feeling and why you will not be there on Mother’s Day.

Try to focus on the positive.  Being grateful for what we already had in our lives and thinking positively is what helped us with our healing process and led us to create Our Hope Place  (www.OurHopePlace.com).  We decided to share our friendship, a special bracelet of hope and it’s inspiring story to help other women who have also experienced miscarriage.

Only by being true to yourself and celebrating Mother’s Day in your own way will you will be able to remember your loss, continue with your healing process and look to the future.

Here’s to celebrating Mother’s Day your way,

Laura & Sharon

Co-founders www.OurHopePlace.com

Congratulations to Mariah Carey and husband Nick Cannon on the birth of their twins –  a son named Moroccan Scott and a daughter named Monroe.   The twins arrived last Saturday in Los Angeles – just in time for Mother’s Day.  Mariah had previously suffered a miscarriage before having the twins.  Welcome little ones!!!

Full story of names of babies:

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b240080_mariah_careys_baby_names_announced_are.html

I was so impressed and touched when I read about International Babylost Mother’s Day in Perth, Australia.  (They even have a Facebook Page.)  At Our Hope Place we  enthusiastically support any group, person, event that helps women and their families who have suffered loss.

Why do I like International Babylost Mother’s Day?   They recognize that once you become pregnant you are a mother.  You are your baby’s mother, forever.  Regardless of loss.

Women who suffer from miscarriage often feel alone.  On Mother’s Day it is worse.   So here is their own day…  right before Mother’s Day, to help them through…

So on this May 1st, these flowers, and these candles are for all of you, all of us…  all the women who have lost…  and we will do the same next year!

I am home tonight reflecting on a wonderful Mother’s Day.  Today was wonderful, I am so lucky.  However, over the years I have had many ups and downs on Mother’s Day…  How was your Mother’s Day?

My Ups – all the years with my mom and grandmothers, and these past 5 years with my son.  In fact today, we had a great morning today with the 3 of us, then caught up with my mom on the phone (just saw her last weekend), and then a good day at my MIL’s.

Downs – the year I had my miscarriage…  the year my SIL passed away, too young, with 3 kids.  They all seemed so young then.  While they are now all taller than me, they still seem too young to be without their mom.  And while they are doing well now, it still seems unfair.

This year in particular, I wonder how everyone is doing on Mother’s Day.  In the past few weeks, my friend lost her mom (a total surprise) and another friend loss her grand daughter 2 hrs after she was born (also a total surprise).

Their pain is so new, so raw – how did they do today?  It must have been so hard!  Just when they thought they cried all their tears out last week, there were new ones this week (or at least that is how I felt on my worst days following my worst Mother’s Day).  My thoughts and prayers are with them…

I hope your day was better…  let me know…

Mother’s Day is this weekend and this year there will be a bittersweet note in my celebration.   My 105-year-old great aunt died this January and would have celebrated her 106th birthday this weekend.   Auntie Jessie, as we called her, was as sharp as a tack until the last day of her life.   When my son’s kindergarten class was learning to count to 100, he brought in a picture of himself sitting on Auntie Jessie’s lap and told everyone that she was 100 years older than him.

Auntie Jessie lived close to me so I was able to visit her.   Often we would talk about all the “changes” to this world she had seen in her 100+ years and stories from her younger days.   She always had her handmade shortbread cookies ready to be taken home when I left.

At her memorial service, we took turns telling stories about Auntie Jessie. Even though we all knew her in different ways (as an aunt, grandmother, friend, neighbor, etc) it was clear that her amazing personality and funny sense of humor had touched us all in the same way.   Auntie Jessie would have loved that evening with her family & friends as we truly celebrated her life together.  

Celebrate with those you love & Happy Mother’s Day!

Mother’s Day is Sunday, May 9th, 2009.  This is supposed to be a happy day, but for so many it is not.  Rather it is “looming out there” as a reminder of pain, suffering and longing.  How can we help?

Here are some things we have done to get through the day:

Recognize your true feelings. Don’t hide or discount them.  Part of you may want to celebrate Mother’s Day because you are a mom to the baby you lost.  You may want to celebrate with the other “moms” in your life.  Ask your spouse or a family member to be your “soft place” that day.  Whenever you need a break, let this person take care of you.

Be kind to yourself on Mother’s Day.  Do not criticize yourself for how you are feeling or put pressure on yourself.   Be your best friend and make the day special to you.

Plan ahead to do something meaningful that will bring a smile to your face. Plant a flower or tree to remember your baby.  Take a walk with your spouse.  Go to church and say a prayer.  Get together with the important women in your life.  Laugh with your family.  Even stay under the covers and read a great book.

Don’t be afraid to say “NO”. Do what you need to do on Mother’s Day even if it means not participating in traditional family events.  If you can find the words, explain why you would rather not participate to your family.  (“Right now I am feeling too emotional to be with everyone on Mother’s Day.”)  If that is too difficult, maybe your spouse or close relative can explain how you are feeling and why you will not be there on Mother’s Day.

Try to focus on the positive.  Being grateful for what we already had in our lives and thinking positively is what helped us with our healing process and led us to create Our Hope Place  (www.OurHopePlace.com).  We decided to share our friendship, a special bracelet of hope and it’s inspiring story to help other women who have also experienced miscarriage.

Only by being true to yourself and celebrating Mother’s Day in your own way will you will be able to remember your loss, continue with your healing process and look to the future.

Here’s to celebrating Mother’s Day your way!  Good luck!  Let us know how your day goes, and have no doubt, this is your day too!