This year Mother’s Day is May 13.  If you have had a miscarriage, Mother’s Day can bring on a whole range of emotions and thoughts of what could have been.  Even if many years have passed since your miscarriage, you may be surprised about how you feel.  Happy and sad thoughts may sprinkle your day.  We know this all too well because we are two women who have experienced miscarriage and have gone on to heal.  We created Our Hope Place (www.OurHopePlace.com) in order for friends to help friends cope, hope and heal after miscarriage.

 Here are some suggestions to get you through the day:

-Recognize your true feelings.  Don’t hide or discount them.  Part of you may want to celebrate Mother’s Day because you are a mom to the baby you lost.  You may want to celebrate with the other “moms” in your life.  Ask your spouse or a family member to be your “soft place” that day.  Whenever you need a break, let this person take care of you.  

-Be kind to yourself on Mother’s Day.  Do not criticize yourself for how you are feeling or put pressure on yourself.   Be your best friend and make the day special to you.

-Plan ahead to do something meaningful that will bring a smile to your face.  Plant a flower or tree to remember your baby.  Take a walk with your spouse.  Go to church and say a prayer.  Get together with the important women in your life.  Laugh with your family.  Even stay under the covers and read a great book.

-Don’t be afraid to say “NO”.  Do what you need to do on Mother’s Day even if it means not participating in traditional family events.  If you can find the words, explain why you would rather not participate to your family.  (“Right now I am feeling too emotional to be with everyone on Mother’s Day.”)  If that is too difficult, maybe your spouse or close relative can explain how you are feeling and why you will not be there on Mother’s Day.

-Try to focus on the positive.  Being grateful for what we already had in our lives and thinking positively is what helped us with our healing process and led us to create Our Hope Place  (www.OurHopePlace.com).  We decided to share our friendship, a special bracelet of hope and it’s inspiring story to help other women who have also experienced miscarriage. 

Only by being true to yourself and celebrating Mother’s Day in your own way will you will be able to remember your loss, continue with your healing process and look to the future.

Here’s to celebrating Mother’s Day your way,

Laura & Sharon

Co-Founders www.OurHopePlace.com

 

 

I remember the Mother’s Day after my miscarriage… we had a great lunch with spectacular wines…  I did as much as I could to focus on the positive.  We think we conceived our son that day as well…  but I know going through the day was hard.

So ere are some suggestions to help get you through the day:

Recognize your true feelings.  Don’t hide or discount them.  Part of you may want to celebrate Mother’s Day because you are a mom to the baby you lost.  You may want to celebrate with the  other “moms” in your life.  Ask your spouse or a family member to be your “soft place” that day.  Whenever you need a break, let this person take care of you.

Be kind to yourself on Mother’s Day.  Try not to (read, don’t) criticize yourself for how you are feeling or put pressure on yourself.   Be your best friend and make the day special to you.

Try doing something meaningful that will bring a smile to your face.  Plant a flower or tree to remember your baby.  Take a walk with your spouse.  Go to church and say a prayer.  Get together with the important women in your life.  Laugh with your family.  Even stay under the covers and read a great book.

Don’t be afraid to say “NO”.  Do what you need to do on Mother’s Day even if it means not participating in traditional family events.  If you can find the words, explain why you would rather not participate to your family.  (“Right now I am feeling too emotional to be with everyone on Mother’s Day.”)  If that is too difficult, maybe your spouse or close relative can explain how you are feeling and why you will not be there on Mother’s Day.

Try to focus on the positive.  Being grateful for what we already had in our lives and thinking positively is what helped us with our healing process and led us to create Our Hope Place  (www.OurHopePlace.com).  We decided to share our friendship, a special bracelet of hope and it’s inspiring story to help other women who have also experienced miscarriage.

Only by being true to yourself and celebrating Mother’s Day in your own way will you will be able to remember your loss, continue with your healing process and look to the future.

Here’s to celebrating Mother’s Day your way,

Laura & Sharon

Co-founders www.OurHopePlace.com

Congratulations to Mariah Carey and husband Nick Cannon on the birth of their twins –  a son named Moroccan Scott and a daughter named Monroe.   The twins arrived last Saturday in Los Angeles – just in time for Mother’s Day.  Mariah had previously suffered a miscarriage before having the twins.  Welcome little ones!!!

Full story of names of babies:

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b240080_mariah_careys_baby_names_announced_are.html

I was so impressed and touched when I read about International Babylost Mother’s Day in Perth, Australia.  (They even have a Facebook Page.)  At Our Hope Place we  enthusiastically support any group, person, event that helps women and their families who have suffered loss.

Why do I like International Babylost Mother’s Day?   They recognize that once you become pregnant you are a mother.  You are your baby’s mother, forever.  Regardless of loss.

Women who suffer from miscarriage often feel alone.  On Mother’s Day it is worse.   So here is their own day…  right before Mother’s Day, to help them through…

So on this May 1st, these flowers, and these candles are for all of you, all of us…  all the women who have lost…  and we will do the same next year!

I am home tonight reflecting on a wonderful Mother’s Day.  Today was wonderful, I am so lucky.  However, over the years I have had many ups and downs on Mother’s Day…  How was your Mother’s Day?

My Ups – all the years with my mom and grandmothers, and these past 5 years with my son.  In fact today, we had a great morning today with the 3 of us, then caught up with my mom on the phone (just saw her last weekend), and then a good day at my MIL’s.

Downs – the year I had my miscarriage…  the year my SIL passed away, too young, with 3 kids.  They all seemed so young then.  While they are now all taller than me, they still seem too young to be without their mom.  And while they are doing well now, it still seems unfair.

This year in particular, I wonder how everyone is doing on Mother’s Day.  In the past few weeks, my friend lost her mom (a total surprise) and another friend loss her grand daughter 2 hrs after she was born (also a total surprise).

Their pain is so new, so raw – how did they do today?  It must have been so hard!  Just when they thought they cried all their tears out last week, there were new ones this week (or at least that is how I felt on my worst days following my worst Mother’s Day).  My thoughts and prayers are with them…

I hope your day was better…  let me know…

Mother’s Day is this weekend and this year there will be a bittersweet note in my celebration.   My 105-year-old great aunt died this January and would have celebrated her 106th birthday this weekend.   Auntie Jessie, as we called her, was as sharp as a tack until the last day of her life.   When my son’s kindergarten class was learning to count to 100, he brought in a picture of himself sitting on Auntie Jessie’s lap and told everyone that she was 100 years older than him.

Auntie Jessie lived close to me so I was able to visit her.   Often we would talk about all the “changes” to this world she had seen in her 100+ years and stories from her younger days.   She always had her handmade shortbread cookies ready to be taken home when I left.

At her memorial service, we took turns telling stories about Auntie Jessie. Even though we all knew her in different ways (as an aunt, grandmother, friend, neighbor, etc) it was clear that her amazing personality and funny sense of humor had touched us all in the same way.   Auntie Jessie would have loved that evening with her family & friends as we truly celebrated her life together.  

Celebrate with those you love & Happy Mother’s Day!

Mother’s Day is Sunday, May 9th, 2009.  This is supposed to be a happy day, but for so many it is not.  Rather it is “looming out there” as a reminder of pain, suffering and longing.  How can we help?

Here are some things we have done to get through the day:

Recognize your true feelings. Don’t hide or discount them.  Part of you may want to celebrate Mother’s Day because you are a mom to the baby you lost.  You may want to celebrate with the other “moms” in your life.  Ask your spouse or a family member to be your “soft place” that day.  Whenever you need a break, let this person take care of you.

Be kind to yourself on Mother’s Day.  Do not criticize yourself for how you are feeling or put pressure on yourself.   Be your best friend and make the day special to you.

Plan ahead to do something meaningful that will bring a smile to your face. Plant a flower or tree to remember your baby.  Take a walk with your spouse.  Go to church and say a prayer.  Get together with the important women in your life.  Laugh with your family.  Even stay under the covers and read a great book.

Don’t be afraid to say “NO”. Do what you need to do on Mother’s Day even if it means not participating in traditional family events.  If you can find the words, explain why you would rather not participate to your family.  (“Right now I am feeling too emotional to be with everyone on Mother’s Day.”)  If that is too difficult, maybe your spouse or close relative can explain how you are feeling and why you will not be there on Mother’s Day.

Try to focus on the positive.  Being grateful for what we already had in our lives and thinking positively is what helped us with our healing process and led us to create Our Hope Place  (www.OurHopePlace.com).  We decided to share our friendship, a special bracelet of hope and it’s inspiring story to help other women who have also experienced miscarriage.

Only by being true to yourself and celebrating Mother’s Day in your own way will you will be able to remember your loss, continue with your healing process and look to the future.

Here’s to celebrating Mother’s Day your way!  Good luck!  Let us know how your day goes, and have no doubt, this is your day too!

I will never forget Mother’s Day following my miscarriage.  Turns out it was a sad and a happy day all in one…

Sad:  well that is the obvious part, I wished I was pregnant.  I wished I was a mom… I wished I was very pregnant, with a healthy baby!

Happy:  Even if I wasn’t pregnant anymore, it was Mother’s Day, and my husband I have (great) mothers, and they deserved some celebrating.  I wasn’t sure if I would be up for it, in fact I dreaded the day, but when it arrived, I was ok.  Well, I was a little weepy in the morning, but a hot shower took care of that.  We went to a lovely brunch with my parents and my mother in law, and friends of my parents (their children were with in-laws).  My husband and parents were very thoughtful in planning the day — they suggested the brunch, they arranged for us to go to the non-kid seating.  We had great wines (yes, plural)…  and it turns out, we conceived our son that night.  He is now 4, and just came by to give me some cuddles.  🙂

So that day I was dreading, turned out to be a pretty good Mother’s Day afterall!  (Isn’t that the understatement!)

Wishing you a Happy Mother’s Day!

peggygevent3Peggy Peggy Garbus is a friend of Our Hope Place who captures amazing pictures of children in black and white.  She is having an event in Wilton this Thursday night at the Rockwell Gallery – located at 379 Danbury Road in Wilton, CT.

“A Spring Snapshot and Sparkle Party” is set for Thursday, April 2nd from 6:30 to 9:30pm which will include a showing of her work, the taking of free Facebook profile photos and a preview of Silpada’s new Spring jewels.
Let us know if you are interested in either the party (a fun Ladies Night Out) or in signing up for a photo shoot for your children – see her special prices (also listed below) for Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and First Communion shots. 

Peggy Garbus Photography
203.761.9816
peggy@peggygarbus.com
http://www.peggygarbus.com
http://peggygarbus.typepad.com

Peggy Garbus is well known throughout Fairfield County for her heartfelt images of children, their families and pets and is a contributing photographer to Wilton Magazine. Her most recent black andwhite giclee prints will be on display at the Gallery including her award winning photo ‘Playing at Ambler Well’ for which she received 1st place in the Wilton Arts Council Focus ’07 Photography Show.

Throughout April and May, Peggy will be conducting 20-minute mini-sessions by appointment only in the Rockwell Gallery space. Each session is designed to capture children and families for Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, First Communions or just the joy of being a toddler. Peggy will even capture the loyalty and friendship of dogs with or without their owners.

The cost for the session is $75 which includes the sitting and one 5 x 7 print. Other sizes and additional prints from the session may be ordered and purchased from Peggy.

Reserve your session today or on opening night by contacting Peggy at 203-761-9816 or email peggy@peggygarbus.com. Please note that the $75 sitting special is only for the mini-session dates and times listed. = Additional studio appointment dates are available at the rate of $150 which also include a 5 x 7 print.

Dates:

April 10 – Mother’s Day
April 21 – Toddler Tuesday
April 22 – 1st Communion
April 24=- Dog’s Delight
April 25 – 1st Communion
April 26 – Mother’s Day
May 2 – 1st Communion
More dates coming in May

Website: http://www.peggygarbus.com
Blog: http://www.peggygarbus.typepad.com

Rockwell-Wilton – located at 379 Danbury Road in Wilton. Gallery hours: Monday through Friday 10am – 5:30pm; Saturdays 10am – 5pm. Phone: (203) 762-8311. For directions and information for all Rockwell Galleries please visit: rockwellartgalleries.com.

http://www.OurHopePlace.com
“Friends helping friends cope, hope and heal after a miscarriage.”
Our Hope Place Blog: https://ourhopeplace.wordpress.com

From a recent contact at www.OurHopePlace.com,

I’d like to help you share stories of miscarriages. I actually have two in a row and felt like there was such little support or information – yet when you mention it – it is so common. So here it goes.

Over the course of 10 months my husband and I experience two miscarriages as we tried for a child. For us, third time was a charm. Both miscarriages were detected when we went in for a 10 week ultrasound and both times, the embryo did not grow past 6 weeks. Both times resulted in a D and C. The first time this happened we were sad, but understood that miscarriages were common, when it happened a second time, we began to worry. Fortunately, we were referred to a fantastic specialist who ran us through a series of test to rule out all issues.

In June of 2007 we were blessed with a strapping 10 lb. 10 oz. boy who has brought so much joy to our lives. This past mother’s day my church held a rose ceremony inviting families to place a red rose in a vase for every child they had. They also invited families to place a white rose in the vase for every child they lost, including miscarriages. That ceremony was extremely emotional for me, not because of the joy I felt on my first mother’s day, but It had hit me that I was so focused on having a child that I didn’t mourn the two miscarriages – perhaps because they happened so early in my pregnancies.

It is so important that women talk through a miscarriage and to share their experiences. We should know that we are not alone and that there is always hope.

Hopefully this small story helps others.

-Kirsten