From the TODAY Show this morning:

Marc Sedaka stood by while he and his wife endured endless rounds of drug therapies, 16 artificial inseminations, 10 in-vitro fertilizations, three miscarriages and, finally, a gestational surrogate who carried their twin girls to term. With the help of his own infertility doctor, Dr. Gregory Rosen, Sedaka has crafted the book “What He Can Expect When She’s Not Expecting: How to Support Your Wife, Save Your Marriage, and Conquer Infertility.” Here is an excerpt.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/42096898/ns/today-books/

It is great to hear a man’s point of view when it comes to infertility.  So many times (as also the case with miscarriage) the woman grieves silently and feels alone as the man “seems” to get back to his “normal” life.  Just the idea of knowing you are not alone in your situation can help.  Thanks for sharing your story.  http://www.OurHopePlace.com – “Helping friends cope, hope and heal after a miscarriage.”

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Our mission for OurHopePlace.com is to demystify miscarriage. In doing that we would love to make the conversation about miscarriage easier.  More of a sharing environment and less of a secret.  Also we would hope that we can help those who have never experienced a miscarriage understand that the loss of an unborn child stays with you for the rest of your life.  For some women, this loss affects everything they do, say and think.

You may have recently heard in the news about the story of Ann Pettway, the woman who supposedly stole a baby (Carlina White) 23 years ago from a hospital.  Part of her reasoning was that she had suffered multiple miscarriages and did not think she would ever be a mom.  Although I do not agree with her actions, I do feel sorry that she felt alone at that time and could not come up with any other option but to take someone’s baby.

If you know someone who has had a miscarriage, be a great friend and listener and help them start their healing journey.  For ideas on how to help – see “How Can I Help” at http://www.OurHopePlace.com

http://www.ourhopeplace.com/whattodo.html

Full story on Ann Pettway:

http://abcnews.go.com/US/ann-pettway-woman-raised-carlina-white-face-kidnapping/story?id=12746441

Well I was going to take the week off blogging for some R&R with my family, but I couldn’t resist writing on this… I was reading the July issue of Parents Magazine, and was very happy to see an article “Say the right thing”. It is all about personal crisis that women go through: miscarriage, divorce, infertility, sick child, when someone says something hurtful.

I love that they have a list of what to and what not to say. On Our Hope Place we have a complimentary list, we also add things you can do, and have a perspective test (an aide in thinking about what to say). I really think the most important thing is to say/do something. If there was a passing in someone’s family, would you not say something?

It is great that more and more miscarriage is something that is openly discussed. The purpose of this blog and OurHopePlace.com is to demystify miscarriage. We are all about friends helping friends cope, hope and heal after miscarriage. And we support anyone doing the same… so check out Parents Magazine (July issue)… and say something if you know someone who has a miscarriage.

I shared with a small group of men and women today that I am the co-founder of www.OurHopePlace.com, a website dedicated to friends helping friends cope, hope and heal after miscarriage.  One by one EVERYONE revealed they too has suffered (either personally or through a spouse).  

When I shared that I started this business with a long time friend of mine because when we suffered our miscarriage we looked for something to help us, we found facts that left us cold, we found places to pour out our emotions (and we had a lot of them) but after a while these left us feeling drained, and that ultimately we couldn’t find anything that helped us move forward, something that would help us heal.  In addition, we found most people didn’t know how to help; what to say/do.  So most people ignored the situation – again silence…  if a parent or grandparent had passed, everyone (or at least most) would know what to do/say.    After sharing the reasons why and what our aim was, they ALL looked at me and said, ‘I need that website.  Where were you when I needed you?  What a great thing this is – such an important issue!!!”

Miscarriage is all too common (1 MILLION each year in the US), yet it remains taboo to discuss.  This leaves women and their family’s alone and suffering in silence.  We need to start the discussion…  we need to stop the madness, stop the deafening silence!  Reach out and help!