With this bill the state recognizes stillbirth as a significant event that others can recognize.  Read below for more information.

If you can send the below snail mail letter, it would be very much appreciated!  If you forward to others, please stress that this is the only letter that can be sent to the Governor – no changes, no exceptions. Thank you!!!

 We have one last request to ask of you. We need letters mailed to Governor Cuomo. Lots of letters.

Below is the letter to use.  Those close to the Governor have strongly urged us to use this form letter, rather than write letters of support using personal stories. Our bill has unfairly been drawn into the pro-choice/life debate and we have made some concessions this year that has enabled it to pass both houses.

 

We can’t take any chances. We have one opportunity to let the Governor know how important this bill is. If he vetos the bill, we will need to start all over in January.

 

Once the Governor signs the bill into law, we will encourage you to write your own thank you note and share your stories, then. But for now, please only use the form letter below.

ENVELOPE:

Address and mail to: Kristin Ross, Legislative Secretary, Capitol Room 239, Albany NY 12224

On lower left corner of envelope write: “A.8178a / S.3111b In Support of Certificate of Still Birth”

LETTER:

 

[DATE]

 

Honorable Andrew M. Cuomo
Governor, State of New York
The Capitol
Albany, NY 12224

Dear Governor Cuomo,

On June 16th the New York legislature overwhelmingly passed a bill to provide a Certificate of Still Birth. Bills A.8178a & S.3111b help provide much-needed comfort, dignity, and documentation to women and their families who have experienced the tragedy of stillbirth. This public health crisis devastates more than 1,700 New York families each year, and nearly 30,000 nationwide.

 

In [YEAR], I [my sister, my aunt, my brother, my friend, etc] suffered the stillbirth of my [son/daughter/grandchild/niece/nephew, etc] and saw family, friends and colleagues struggle to find words of comfort. With this bill the state recognizes stillbirth as a significant event that others can recognize.

 

All states, including New York, require the family to pay for funeral and burial or cremation expenses, and a death certificate is issued. Although a fetal demise is considered as both a birth and a death as per NYS Public Health law, until now New York did not consider the option of a Certificate of Still Birth.

 

This bill will increase awareness of stillbirth, and in doing so may stimulate the allotment of research funds to uncover the etiologies of stillbirth, most of which are unknown at this time. With more information, women and families will be better prepared to maintain healthy pregnancies.

 

I strongly urge your support of Assembly bill A.8178a and Senate bill S.3111b. Thank you in advance for helping countless New York families who have experienced stillbirth and are eagerly awaiting your support as the bill is signed into law.

 

Sincerely,

 

Name – Address – Phone

 

 

Our mission for OurHopePlace.com is to demystify miscarriage. In doing that we would love to make the conversation about miscarriage easier.  More of a sharing environment and less of a secret.  Also we would hope that we can help those who have never experienced a miscarriage understand that the loss of an unborn child stays with you for the rest of your life.  For some women, this loss affects everything they do, say and think.

You may have recently heard in the news about the story of Ann Pettway, the woman who supposedly stole a baby (Carlina White) 23 years ago from a hospital.  Part of her reasoning was that she had suffered multiple miscarriages and did not think she would ever be a mom.  Although I do not agree with her actions, I do feel sorry that she felt alone at that time and could not come up with any other option but to take someone’s baby.

If you know someone who has had a miscarriage, be a great friend and listener and help them start their healing journey.  For ideas on how to help – see “How Can I Help” at http://www.OurHopePlace.com

http://www.ourhopeplace.com/whattodo.html

Full story on Ann Pettway:

http://abcnews.go.com/US/ann-pettway-woman-raised-carlina-white-face-kidnapping/story?id=12746441

On Friday, October 1, 2010 – I happen to catch part of ABC‘s TV show – The View and found myself tearing up for their guests.  The topic was: Bill & Giuliana Rancic Discuss Their Miscarriage. 

Both Bill and his wife were very frank about their emotions and thoughts during their months of  trying to have a baby.  Giuliana talked about her miscarriage and feeling guilty about losing the baby which turned into thoughts of “what is wrong with me/my body.”  Bill expressed thoughts of trying to stay strong for his wife and upon hearing his wife blaming herself for the miscarriage he said, “It broke my heart.” 

Sherri Shepherd and Barbara Walters (co-hosts of The View) are also miscarriage survivors and had great things to say to the couple.  Sherri went on to have her son after losing a twin girl and Barbara adopted a daughter after a few miscarriages.

Whoopi Goldberg (co-host) also had something very sweet to say to the couple – the idea that they had a visitor (the miscarried baby) that came to see if they were ready and he would return soon.

Thank you to both Bill & Giuliana for being strong enough and candid enough to share both sides of their miscarriage – the woman’s view & the man’s view.  I hope that other miscarriage survivors were able to see they are not alone in their grief.  For the full story – go to: http://theview.abc.go.com/blog/friday-bill-giuliana-rancic-discuss-their-miscarriage

http://www.OurHope Place.com has a section of how men and women grieve differently – http://www.ourhopeplace.com/PaulaLevyExpert.html

Grey’s Anatomy Season Premiere – Meredith Grey has a Miscarriage

It should be interesting to see how ABC deals with Meredith Grey’s miscarriage on tomorrow  night’s  episode – will it be swept under the carpet or will ABC address the “real” feelings, thoughts and emotions that come with experiencing a miscarriage??????  Let us know what you think.

Hopefully www.ABC.com & Grey’s Anatomy will truly sink their teeth into the miscarriage topic and Meredith & Derek will have “real life” discussions and reactions to what just happen to them as parents. It would be a great opportunity to help the many women & men who experience the devastation of miscarriage every day. Ways to help someone who has experienced a miscarriage can be found at  www.OurHopePlace.com  (http://www.ourhopeplace.com/whattodo.html)

Our Post from May 2010

Grey’s Anatomy Season Finale – Meredith Grey has a Miscarriage

As a big fan of Grey’s Anatomy, I was sad to watch as Meredith experienced a miscarriage during the season finale (http://abc.go.com/shows/greys-anatomy?CID=yahoo_SEM_UU_1&K_CLICKID=55bf1cc7-c9d8-a6a8-d3d9-000044a78e75).   It will be interesting to see how the show deals with all the emotions, feelings and thoughts that come with losing a baby. I hope they explore how men & women grieve differently for the same loss. This was a topic that we (www.OurHopePlace.com) found very interesting and dedicated part of our website to.

Men, Women, Miscarriage And Grieving Styles         By: Paula Levy

Miscarriage is an emotional and confusing time for most couples. There are few societal rituals for grieving for a miscarriage and the depth of this pain is not well recognized in our culture. In addition, couples have little or no physical existence of their child (pictures, toys, memories) and therefore it becomes difficult for them to validate their loss in the usual ways. Add to this mix the fact that women and men usually grieve differently which can cause miscommunication, hurt and disappointment between them. As a result, a mother and father can have vastly different reactions to a miscarriage. In many cases, the mother doesn’t understand why her husband is not experiencing significant grief and the father doesn’t understand why his wife is so devastated. This can have profound implications for the marriage. http://www.ourhopeplace.com/PaulaLevyExpert.html

In the real world, Derek could send Meredith a “bracelet of hope” to acknowledge her miscarriage and help her start on her healing journey. We can only Hope! (“bracelet of hope” story – http://www.ourhopeplace.com/BraceletStory.html)

 

Click here to learn more about fishful thinking…

More hope today…  kids and hope.  Helping kids know/identify and express their feelings.  This is something I do with my 4 yr old.  It really helps…  when he can identify and express what he is feeling we can enjoy what we are doing and avoid meltdowns (well most of the time).  Take a look below… let me know what you think.

What is Emotional Awareness:  it is the ability to identify and describe what you are feeling and to know what others are feeling.

Why is Emotional Awareness important:  it is a building block of a healthy emotional life. The more aware your child is of his feelings and the more comfortable he becomes with the full range of feelings that people experience, the easier it will be for him to connect with others. The ability to control one’s emotions when they are too strong and getting in the way of coping is improved by emotional awareness.

These activities can be done with all children (by using more complex emotions for older kids).  Check it out…  it is definitely worth a click!

It is not even 11 AM and what a day already…  a day of life’s little ups and downs…

Things like we are doing a re-fi and the mortgage broker left a message saying we are set to close and the 15 day numbers look so good we can get another 1/4 of a point…  that is good, actually it is great!  YEAH!

But, when I talk to the mortguage broker, he wants to close on the day I planned to do something fun with my 4 yr old son (this is a special day for us, I am taking off work, we bought tickets for a kids show in NYC)…  this is not good.  So I explain the situation and we come up with a plan, so I can still have a fun day with my son…  this is good, well, it is GREAT!

Then, … well it goes on.   And I am reminded, that I have handled everything.  I was able to share my thoughts and feelings, we were able to make a plan so all is good.  I am feeling Resilient…  And I am laughing that all the things around Fishful Thinking are things I use in my everyday life…  pretty cool.  Hope you have a good day!

More hope today…  kids and hope.  Helping kids know/identify and express their feelings.  This is something I do with my 4 yr old.  It really helps…  when he can identify and express what he is feeling we can enjoy what we are doing and avoid meltdowns (well most of the time).  Take a look below… let me know what you think.

What is Emotional Awareness:  it is the ability to identify and describe what you are feeling and to know what others are feeling.

Why is Emotional Awareness important:  it is a building block of a healthy emotional life. The more aware your child is of his feelings and the more comfortable he becomes with the full range of feelings that people experience, the easier it will be for him to connect with others. The ability to control one’s emotions when they are too strong and getting in the way of coping is improved by emotional awareness.

These activities can be done with all children (by using more complex emotions for older kids).

How can I learn more:  Click HERE .