Feel free to email us your questions/comments regarding miscarriage.  We will do our best to answer/respond quickly.  Thank you!

12 Responses to “Questions and Answers”

  1. April Says:

    I recently had a miscarriage. I was 11 weeks pregnant when I rec’d the news. I was and am devastated. It has been almost a month, but I am always on the edge of tears and terribly afraid of slipping into a deep depression. I have 2 beautiful daughters that I need to pull it together for, but the pain is unbearable. I have been searching the internet constantly searching for hope. I finally found some at your site. I would appreciate any information or just a simple reply, so I don’t feel so alone. Don’t get me wrong, I have a wonderful family, but I can’t shake feeling terribly alone and misunderstood.

  2. Sharon Says:

    Dear April,
    I am sorry for your loss! Thank you for reaching out – please know you are not alone…

    I remember feeling very alone after my miscarriage. I had many people around me who loved me, and who wanted to help, but I still felt alone. I felt a huge sense of loss. I worked hard everyday to stay as focused as a could to get through the day… what helped me was talking to a friend who knew what I was going through, a special bracelet from that friend (that I used to make myself think positive, you can find the bracelet at http://www.ourhopeplace.com), and crying in the shower. I cried in the shower everyday for 4 months – some how it helped.

    You have had a real loss, one that needs to be grieved for (in whatever way works for you). Take the time you need, be kind to yourself. Write back any time you’d like.

  3. Jamese Says:

    On June 24, 2008 I felt like my world came to an end. I woke up that morning excited 11 weeks and 4 days pregnant with Baby #3 growing peacefully inside my belly and went to bed that night with an empty stomach , lost soul and aching heart. I have two beautiful Healthy children from previous relationships but this was to be the first born to my Husband and myself. We endured a similar tragedy in December of last year when we found out that I had miscarried, however we never knew i was pregnant and it happened at 5 weeks. This time the pain was unbearable because we were EXCITED and patiently waiting to meet our beautiful creation. Sometimes I find myself sitting and placing a question mark where God has already placed a period. I guess I have so many questions but no answers. I am trying to stay strong and focused for my children but I’m finding it hard. What should I do? Does anyone know how I feel and if so how are you getting by?

  4. Sharon Says:

    Dear Jamie,
    I see the pain in your words; I am sorry for your loss. I remember what it was like for us… we too were very excited to be pregnant. We couldn’t wait to meet our child – what would he/she be like? It all seemed so wonderful, then the unthinkable happened. I felt devastated, and pain to a level I didn’t think was possible. Here is what helped me:

    1) talking to someone who knew what it was like to have a miscarriage – someone who would know what it felt like without having to explain everything. Better yet, for me it helped if this person had gone on to have children (or a child)… this gave me hope

    2) a special bracelet that my friend gave me – her mom had given it to her after a miscarriage. I wore (or carried) the bracelet every day until my son was born. I used the bracelet as a distraction, and when I played with the bracelet, I made myself think positive thoughts. It is so easy to get caught up in negative thoughts… You can see the bracelets on http://www.OurHopePlace.com (check out the site, maybe there is something there that could help)

    3) I cried in the shower everyday for 4 months – worked for me… almost like I needed to get the sadness out each day to get on with whatever I needed to do each day

    4) taking it one day at a time

    5) be kind to yourself, miscarriage is a real loss, one that needs to be grieved for… take time to do what works for you.

    Well that is at least one perspective, thanks for writing – I hope others write as well.
    -Sharon

  5. Nicole Says:

    Hello–I am so glad you entered the Startup Nation’s contest–that is whre I found you–I am also a contestant. 🙂

    3 years ago I lost my baby at 7 1/2 weeks.
    I have never talked to a professional about it and it eats me alive all the time (even though I have 3 kiddos) but I have taken my energy and filled my time with business and busy work to not think about it.

    However, even typing this message is choking me up..

    I was very angry at God for all this time but have come to terms -kind of–with it where I have been able to forgive him and am on speaking terms with him again :)..

    Thank you for your website.
    Nicole

  6. Karin Says:

    I recently lost baby, too. I am also desperate for some peace and hope. While some days are fine, others feel like torture. I am glad for all of your thoughts and suggestions. The thing you just have to keep telling yourself is you are not alone. So many women have gone before us and survived this type of tragedy and we can, too. Women have an amazing amount of unknown strength that doesn’t surface until it has to.
    I’ll keep you all in my thoughts.
    Karin

    1. Laura Says:

      Karin,
      I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your baby. I am glad you found our blog to express yourself (also check out http://www.OurHopePlace.com) and that some of what we have to say has helped. For me, the things that helped the most after my miscarriage was being nice to myself everyday (doing something I liked, meeting a friend, going for a walk, making a mental note about all the good things that I saw in my day) and giving myself time – time to greive and heal.

      Take time for yourself,
      Laura

  7. Laura Says:

    Wondering if you know of any support groups or have ever thought of starting one in the Albany area. I’ve had two miscarriages, one in 2004 and this past April and wondering if anyone in our area is interested. Thanks!

    1. Laura Says:

      Hi Laura,

      Sorry to hear about your loss. I hope you are finding ways to start on your healing journey from your miscarriages.
      Looking for a support group is always a good idea – being able to relate to others who have experienced your same kind of loss can make you feel not so alone in your situation.

      I know that the organization Resolve (http://www.resolve.org/) has a section on their home page where you type in your state or zip code to “Find A Support Group”. I hope this helps.

      Our Hope Place (www.OurHopePlace.com) offers you an opportunity to read about our experience with miscarriage and what helped us, post on our blog (thoughts, feelings, questions, etc) and become a fan of our Facebook page.
      http://www.OurHopePlace.com – “Friends helping friends cope, hope and heal after a miscarriage.”
      Blog: Life After Miscarriage – The “New Normal” https://ourhopeplace.wordpress.com
      Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fairfield-CT/Our-Hope-Place/43708101682?ref=sgm

      Thank you for reaching out to Our Hope Place,
      Laura
      Co-founder, http://www.OurHopePlace.com

  8. natalie Says:

    i had a miscarriage i had just turned 12 weeks……….its been a month in a half since my surgery, it was very hard for me to understand it. i was mute for a week i could say anything i just wanted to sleep. i have 2 boys but my husband and i had been trying for some time to have another. i thought maybe i cant have babys so i had given up on trying. next thing i now i was pregnant. we were happy……..now that i lost the baby i cant get my mind off it. i see people that had babies and to hear them say they didnt want any and that they accidently got pregnant makes me think, how could you say that. i try to go on with regular life, but now and then it hits me and i get very emotional. i saw it in my husband. he was trying to be strong for the both of us but when he finally broke down i realized he felt the same pain i felt this whole time. now im scared to try. i dont want to go threw this again.

    1. Sharon Says:

      Dear Natalie,
      I am so sorry for your loss, pain, and suffering. I wish there were magic words that wold make it better. Thank you for being brave and writing to us; sharing.

      I remember the pain so clearly. It felt like there was no color in the world, no hope. I was so scared and felt very alone.

      What helped me was talking with my friend Laura (the other founder of Our Hope Place), and her saying “I know”… She knew what it was like. And then she said I have something can help. And I was shocked … Shocked she had suffered a miscarriage as well and shocked she had something to help (you can read about the bracelet story at ourhopeplace.com). I was so thankful she shared her loss with me… And I clung on to any hope she offered. And that was the beginning if my healing… I won’t lie. It took time. I can still remember the first time the wold seemed to “turn back on”. When I heard a bird sing, when I could see color again. When I could smile, when I could laugh… Things that seemed so simple, so easy, had been lost to me, and were slowly coming back.

      I hope that in some small way, your finding us and writing, has helped. We hope you find “your bracelet” or something similar that will help you begin your healing journey.

      We will keep you and your family in our thoughts and prayers.
      -Sharon

  9. natalie Says:

    sharon……..thank you. i was thinking last night i would of been 5 months i would of known the sex of the baby………….i still get emotional. but i have to learn to cope. i still want to try i dont want to give up. it scares me but i realy want to have a little one again. im glad i found this site. i heard of you on the show bethany. even hearing her story made me choke up because i totaly felt her pain. i hope god could give me another chance. and thank you for replying made me feel better. thank you.

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