After suffering a miscarriage, many women feel very alone with their thoughts and feelings.  Thank you to Celine Dion & Mariah Carey for going public with their miscarriages and candidly talking about how they got through their devastating experience.  By demystifying miscarriage and talking about it openly – whether to your friends, family or to the public – we help one another not to feel so alone.

Good News for Celine & Mariah:

On October 23, 2010 Celine Dion gave birth to healthy twin boys named Nelson (named after Nelson Mandela) and Eddy (named after Eddy Marnay)! Congratulations Celine, René, and René-Charles!

In the last week Mariah Carey and husband Nick announced they were pregnant again and doing well.

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I consider myself an optimist.  Now I think it is portant to clarify what I mean by this b/c it doesn’t  mean my life is perfect.   Rather Optimism is the belief that things will turn out well.   And get this, this is my favorite part, it is the expectation that good things will come your way and IMPORTANTLY that you have the ability to control/influence the direction of your life.  It’s about having goals, and setting plans to achieve, and to course correct as needed. 

This thinking helped me so much at the time of my miscarriage, it helps me everyday; it makes the bad days less bad and good days great! 

Want to learn more about becoming and optimist?  or teaching these skills to your children?  husband?  mother-in-law?   Well you could study all about positive psychology, or you could check out the cool work being done by the team at Fishful Thinking (and to be honest, I did work a little on this project a few years ago – it was the most rewarding work, and I consider it a privledge to have been a part of it).  I use a lot of this with my 4 yr old son, and my husband, and myself, and … 

Click here to learn more

Click here to learn more about fishful thinking…

More hope today…  kids and hope.  Helping kids know/identify and express their feelings.  This is something I do with my 4 yr old.  It really helps…  when he can identify and express what he is feeling we can enjoy what we are doing and avoid meltdowns (well most of the time).  Take a look below… let me know what you think.

What is Emotional Awareness:  it is the ability to identify and describe what you are feeling and to know what others are feeling.

Why is Emotional Awareness important:  it is a building block of a healthy emotional life. The more aware your child is of his feelings and the more comfortable he becomes with the full range of feelings that people experience, the easier it will be for him to connect with others. The ability to control one’s emotions when they are too strong and getting in the way of coping is improved by emotional awareness.

These activities can be done with all children (by using more complex emotions for older kids).  Check it out…  it is definitely worth a click!

Did you know that there are mental and phyical benefits of being optimistic?  And that optimism can be learned?  So if we give our children (and ourselves) skills to learn, practice and build our optimism skills we can lead a happier, healthier life…  That sounds pretty good to me. 

Click here to learn more:

And if you like this work around optimism as much as I do, click here to learn more about getting involved and being an ambassador…  it is fun, and I feel like I am doing something good for my family and myself!

Following my previous post (scroll down to see if you haven’t) on hope, optimism, and kids.   Below is a Resilience Quiz – about how your child copes with life’s ups and downs  —  and given the state of the world today, isn’t this something we all could use?  Questions around subjects like, ” how to handle a fight with your best friend”, “how to stick to a difficult task while managing frustration”, and “how to handle your team losing the big game” will provide insight on how resilient your child is and how you can help (if/when needed).

Resilience Quiz

How resilient is your child? Find out with this short quiz, developed by Dr. Karen Reivich. Each time you answer a question, you will get a resilience tip from Dr. Reivich, with suggestions for how you can use a situation to help improve your child’s resilience.  Click here.  Let me know what you think.

If you want to get involved, become an ambassador, and/or if you want to learn more:


PS:  I know these banners look the same, but they take you to slightly different places.

Every once in a while, I post something that I find so interesting, I just have to share it…  this is one of those times.  While this is usually a blog about hope and miscarriage, please indulge me this one time and check out this entry about hope and kids.  (Well to be honest, I find this so cool, I will likely post more about it.) 
There are studies on kids and resilancy and optimism.  Did you know that optimism can be learned like other skills?  I find that amazing and wonderful!  That optimistic kids do better, and they are happier.  And isn’t that what we all want for our kids – to be happy and healthy?
If you really like it too, think about becoming an ambassador.  Now I think I will have to find a way to subtly share this with my mother-in-law.

Fishful Thinking is a resource for parents to help teach their kids how to handle the ups and downs of life, approach situations with an optimistic attitude and develop confidence to reach their full potential. The program was developed in partnership with Dr. Karen Reivich, psychologist in the field of Positive Psychology at the University of Pennsylvania and mother of four. With Fishful Thinking, we believe that parents can learn to positively affect their children’s development, transform parenting frustrations into parenting successes and share more joy and happiness with their families.

http://www.fishfulthinking.com/

 

 

There are lots of ways to get involved. And for those who are interested in getting more involved,  they are looking for parents with kids 4-12, who are well connected and enthusiastic to get involved by becoming a Fishful Thinking Ambassador. If you’re interested, great! Or, please pass this onto someone that you think might be interested in helping us. Ambassadors are given the tools (activities, videos, etc.) to spread the word throughout their networks and can compete for prizes and incentives. Ambassadors can do as little or as much as they want or are comfortable with. To become an Ambassador, sign up here. It’s a quick, two step process.   

From a recent contact to Our Hope Place:

I am also a member of the pregnancy loss sisterhood.  I lost twins in the second tri-mester and had another early loss before my daughter was born.  The first one was especially hard because I had two good friend due around the same time (1 within a day, the other was 3 months later).  In addition, I was running a clinic for pregnant teens at the time.  It was crazy!

I am forever an optimist.  I expect to be sitting on the beach at 80, perky silicone breasts and all!  Even when I was diagnosed (with breast cancer), I did not assume the worst.  I assumed it would be no big deal, that I would beat it, and beat it quickly.  Not quite the actual story.   I am still in treatment and maybe forever.   But it is OK as long as I am around to live it!

-Melissa

 

Note from Our Hope Place (Sharon):  Melissa you are so strong and helping so many –  I plan to visit you on that beach and toast the wonderful lives we will have lived – bring pictures of your grand kids – I will do the same!