Another year but the feelings can still be the same. This year, Mother’s Day is May 12. If you have had a miscarriage, Mother’s Day can bring on a whole range of emotions and thoughts of what could have been. Even if many years have passed since your miscarriage, you may be surprised about how you feel. Happy and sad thoughts may sprinkle your day. We know this all too well because we are two women who have experienced miscarriage and have gone on to heal. We created Our Hope Place (www.OurHopePlace.com) in order for friends to help friends cope, hope and heal after miscarriage.
Here are some suggestions to get you through the day:
-Recognize your true feelings. Don’t hide or discount them. Part of you may want to celebrate Mother’s Day because you are a mom to the baby you lost. You may want to celebrate with the other “moms” in your life. Ask your spouse or a family member to be your “soft place” that day. Whenever you need a break, let this person take care of you.
-Be kind to yourself on Mother’s Day. Do not criticize yourself for how you are feeling or put pressure on yourself. Be your best friend and make the day special to you.
-Plan ahead to do something meaningful that will bring a smile to your face. Plant a flower or tree to remember your baby. Take a walk with your spouse. Go to church and say a prayer. Get together with the important women in your life. Laugh with your family. Even stay under the covers and read a great book.
-Don’t be afraid to say “NO”. Do what you need to do on Mother’s Day even if it means not participating in traditional family events. If you can find the words, explain why you would rather not participate to your family. (“Right now I am feeling too emotional to be with everyone on Mother’s Day.”) If that is too difficult, maybe your spouse or close relative can explain how you are feeling and why you will not be there on Mother’s Day.
-Try to focus on the positive. Being grateful for what we already had in our lives and thinking positively is what helped us with our healing process and led us to create Our Hope Place (www.OurHopePlace.com). We decided to share our friendship, a special bracelet of hope and it’s inspiring story to help other women who have also experienced miscarriage.
Only by being true to yourself and celebrating Mother’s Day in your own way will you will be able to remember your loss, continue with your healing process and look to the future.
Here’s to celebrating Mother’s Day your way! Good luck! Let us know how your day goes, and have no doubt, this is your day too! You can also tweet us @OurHopePlace