I remember the Mother’s Day after my miscarriage… we had a great lunch with spectacular wines…  I did as much as I could to focus on the positive.  We think we conceived our son that day as well…  but I know going through the day was hard.

So ere are some suggestions to help get you through the day:

Recognize your true feelings.  Don’t hide or discount them.  Part of you may want to celebrate Mother’s Day because you are a mom to the baby you lost.  You may want to celebrate with the  other “moms” in your life.  Ask your spouse or a family member to be your “soft place” that day.  Whenever you need a break, let this person take care of you.

Be kind to yourself on Mother’s Day.  Try not to (read, don’t) criticize yourself for how you are feeling or put pressure on yourself.   Be your best friend and make the day special to you.

Try doing something meaningful that will bring a smile to your face.  Plant a flower or tree to remember your baby.  Take a walk with your spouse.  Go to church and say a prayer.  Get together with the important women in your life.  Laugh with your family.  Even stay under the covers and read a great book.

Don’t be afraid to say “NO”.  Do what you need to do on Mother’s Day even if it means not participating in traditional family events.  If you can find the words, explain why you would rather not participate to your family.  (“Right now I am feeling too emotional to be with everyone on Mother’s Day.”)  If that is too difficult, maybe your spouse or close relative can explain how you are feeling and why you will not be there on Mother’s Day.

Try to focus on the positive.  Being grateful for what we already had in our lives and thinking positively is what helped us with our healing process and led us to create Our Hope Place  (www.OurHopePlace.com).  We decided to share our friendship, a special bracelet of hope and it’s inspiring story to help other women who have also experienced miscarriage.

Only by being true to yourself and celebrating Mother’s Day in your own way will you will be able to remember your loss, continue with your healing process and look to the future.

Here’s to celebrating Mother’s Day your way,

Laura & Sharon

Co-founders www.OurHopePlace.com

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