Thought it might be good to write about something a little different tonight… questions and myths about miscarriage.  I remember after my miscarriage, I read all the facts.  My head got it, sure that was easy.  But my heart, that was a different story.  My heart didn’t care about the stats for a second.  However, I forced myself to read them, over and over again.  It started to seep in…  started to help…  and I needed all the help I could get.  So here goes, hope it might help someone…

What exactly is a miscarriage? A miscarriage is when you suffer a pregnancy loss in the first 20 weeks.

Is miscarriage common? Yes, it is all too common!  1 in 5 pregnancies ends in miscarriage, that is 1 in 5.  Think of 5 friends that you know who have had children…  according to the stats, one of them is likely to have had a miscarriage.  This translates to almost 1 million miscarriages each year in the US.

Why did this happen?  Did I cause my miscarriage?  How is it that my body which is designed to have babies, failed, why did I fail? This is really important – you DIDN’T cause your miscarriage.  NOTHING you did caused this loss!  Please, if there is nothing else, read, and re-read those two sentences, write them down, put it in your pocket, and every time you start to beat yourself up or question yourself, read it again.  The fact is that you will likely not ever know what caused your miscarriage.  Sometimes they can do tests, that usually happens if you have re-peat issues.  The more likely case is that 9 out of 10 times you will have a healthy pregnancy and baby post miscarriage.

That leads me to the next question…  when can I try again? My doctor told me to wait one cycle…  I did, and then was pregnant right away.   It seemed really hard for me to get pregnant the first time.  It was like my body had to learn how to get and stay pregnant.  Second time around, pregnant right away.  Then I was equally terrified and excited.  So let’s go back to that last fact – 9 out of 10 pregnancies following a miscarriage lead to a healthy baby!  That’s better odds than the first time around…  I knew the stress of worrying about a possible miscarriage the second time around wouldn’t help me, so I used my bracelet (see bracelet story).  Wore it or carried everyday until our son was born.

Of course the best thing to do is to be in good health, talk to your doctor, be kind to yourself, and listen to your body.