Do you find the holidays difficult after your miscarriage?

…from a contact at Our Hope Place: It wasn’t supposed to happen this way. No, this Christmas I was to be buying pjs that say “baby’s 1st Christmas”. But that didn’t happen. Instead of being happy I have been dreading the holidays, I have been waiting to “check the box”. Wishing it was all a bad dream… It is hard to be around kids, and pregnant friends. I get angry, feel guilty, and am always so sad. Will it ever get better? Is it normal to feel this way? Is it bad that I am happy the holidays are over? I have a friend who also suffered a miscarriage, and she doesn’t seem to feel the same way… Any advice? …

First I am sorry for you loss, and what you are feeling is totally normal. The same is true for your friend. Everyone grieves differently, and no one way is right. Miscarriage is a real loss, one that needs to be grieved for. I remember the time after my miscarriage, but before my son was born. I had a lot of dread on all important dates, holidays, family events, and even seeing friends. Not to mention any “anniversary” associated with the baby I lost (this would have been my 5th month, this was the 36 week point, this was my delivery date, and so on). While I remember a lot of sadness, I also remember the dread prior was worse than the actual
day (might be different for you).

So I came up with coping mechanisms to help me… Thing like I didn’t go to everything. If I thought it was too hard, I gave myself permission to take a pass. And then would do something fun for me. I also used my bracelet… I needed to grieve, and then I needed to find hope, to feel the sun. When you are ready you will to. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.