I think of an anniversary as something to celebrate, therefore today is just a passing of time; 5 years since my miscarriage.  As I write I fight the tears, I wonder if I will ever get through this day with out dire sadness, wonder if I will ever get through the days before today without dread and a stressful build up, and I wonder if the tears will ever go away???  Couldn’t today just be my sister in law’s birthday?  Couldn’t it just be any other day?  Unlikely not, but we’ll see about next year…  in the meanwhile, I will be here, living in my “new normal”…  it’s ok, there is a lot of good here!