Tonight I have been reading blogs from women and men as they progress on the path to motherhood/fatherhood.  Tears of joy, tears of sorry, questions, and lots of hope and optimism!  I totally believe in the power of positive thinking.  I am reminded why we started www.OurHopePlace.com – there is a real need to help people and we wanted to help, we felt could make a difference.   On our website, we list 5 ways to help and we offer a perspective test…  thought it would be helpful to share here…         

1) It’s all about your friend.  But feeling comfortable talking to your friend about her loss may be difficult for many reasons.  Get over it!  Your friend needs you.  Now is the time to think of her.  Even if you get it wrong, she will know you meant well, and will appreciate all you do.2) Remember there are no magic words that you can say or things to do to comfort your friend.  It is OK to convey that you are not sure exactly what to say, but that you are there for her.3) If you have had a miscarriage, tell your friend at this time.  Then let her guide you in the conversation.  4) Do realize that everyone copes with loss, even the same kind of loss, in different ways.  5) Be specific when offering help.   “Let me know what I can do?” without being specific, that puts the effort on your friend to contact you and doesn’t she have enough to deal with already?-help around the house (cleaning up, folding laundry, outside chores)– drop off food for her and her family
– laundry
– babysit

– run errands

It is important to know everyone grieves differently, and miscarriage is a real loss, one that needs to be grieved for.  You cannot make someone stop feeling grief, you can only be supportive and hope to help lesson the pain/or not cause more pain.  Hopefully together, we can help women and their families!  Let us know how you and/or someone you know has helped you… 

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