Our Hope Place on One Smart Mother

One Smart Mother is Nina Sutton’s guide supporting the journey of women as they transition to motherhood. Her practice and radio show are dedicated to women’s issues, particularly surrounding motherhood. Nina delves into subjects such as becoming a mother, business/career, child care, health, beauty, wellness, financial, legal issues, and a myriad of other contemporary topics of interest to women.

In addition to her radio show and podcast, you can follow Nina on Twitter, or become a fan of One Smart Mother on Facebook.

In 1986, Nina Sutton established one of the first nanny/child care placement services of its kind in the United States, and has since dedicated her career to helping mothers in all aspects. Click hereto find out more about Nina.

Listen to One Smart Mother Tuesday 9 am, 1490 WGCH. My guest will be Sharon Stenger of Our Hope Place, a place for healing from miscarriage.

 

Today marks the 20th anniversary of “Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month”

For most people in the Northeast, October is a time for cool crisp days, hayrides, and pumpkin picking.  Many would be surprised that this October also marks the 20th anniversary of President Regan signing a proclamation invoking a national observance of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

The goal of the proclamation is to increase our understanding  of what it is like to lose an unborn or newborn baby.  The hope was  that through this effort there would be help for bereaved parents and their families.

The statistics about miscarriage are staggering.  One in five pregnancies end in
miscarriage.  This equates to over 1 million miscarriages a year in the United States alone. Miscarriage is a real loss: one that needs to be grieved for.  Importantly it is a different kind of loss in that there are no memories, no stories to reminisce about or pictures to look at.  There is only the loss of potential, the loss of the dreams and hopes of the baby that will never be fulfilled.

While miscarriage is common, it is not commonly discussed.  There are many reasons why.  Fear of not knowing what to say or saying the wrong thing.  Fear of reminding the person of their loss. Feeling uncomfortable discussing a difficult situation.

To learn how to help someone, visit www.OurHopePlace.com

 

I’ve been thinking about natural remedies and alternative medicine and it’s relationship to miscarriage / infertility. Do you have any experience with natural remedies and miscarriage / infertility?

I am writing as I consume the last of my apple cider vinegar in water (not too tasty, in fact, I would say YUCK).  Why am I drinking this yucky ACV?  What could possibly worth it?  It is the one of the so called natural remedy I have started over the past few years.

More importantly, my drinking apple cider got me wondering about  natural remedies and miscarriage and  infertility – and why didn’t I think of this before?

About 2 1/2 years ago I  exchanged daily seasonal allergy remedies (used to take them 365 days/yr, and it wasn’t enough) for acupuncture.  I go every 2-3 weeks.  I feel WONDERFUL post treatment!

I use a netti-pot to also help with allergies.  I had heard of netti-pots for quite some time (remember how Oprah loved them), but to be honest the idea grossed me out.  It took a while before I tried it.  In fact the only reason I tried one was because I was desperate to breathe on a business trip (you know bad air plane air and all).  Now I don’t start the day without using the netti-pot.  If you haven’t tried one, I strongly suggest it (get over the gross thinking, like many things the anticipation is worse than the reality).

This past weekend I started to take ACV and acidophilus for acid reflux.  It has only been a few days, but things are looking up.  And I feel great!

Today I went for a laser treatment (quick, in office procedure, no pain) – seems I have a (sorry this might be TMI) a little fungus on my toenail (a very mild case, not like what you see in the “before pics”) —  seems one too many pedicures.  Oh, the tragedy of it all…  how do I survive without my mani-pedi?    My podiatrist suggested, if I MUST still get a mani-pedi, I should bring benedictine (you know that little brown bottle, when you were little your parents likely put it on your cuts), and put a few drops in the water.  Even if I see someone clean the basin, I should not be satisfied.  That is because, there is water inside the unit, in the jets and they can’t clean in there…  yuck.  The dr really knows how to ruin a good mani-pedi.

So if I am willing to subject myself to drinking ACV (yuck), getting stuck with pins (actually this isn’t so bad), flushing my sinuses, choosing a laser over meds (which I hear can have some not so great side effects), and foregoing mani-pedis (sob), I wonder what natural remedies people have used for miscarriage and infertility.  And I wonder, why didn’t I ever think of this before???

So, I am off to learn more (my first quick search on google resulted in over 288,000 pages).  If you have any ideas, please post, or visit me at OurHopePlace.com (contact us).  Not sure what I will learn, but it should be an interesting journey.

 

How men and women grieve differently after a miscarriage – from a man’s point of view

Dear OuHopePlace.com,

I was into my first marriage when I realized the impact of how me and my ex wife grieved differently.

With a miscarriage we suffered the loss of fraternal twin girls. Since I did not cry enough according to her a grudge was held for years without me even knowing it. It may have been one of the reasons we parted ways.    

Encouragement Speaker Derrick Hayes 
“Give Someone a WOE, a Word of Encouragement“ 

Creator of Derricknyms 
Author of 1 WORD Is All It Takes™ (Fall 2009) 
Publisher of The WORD 

www.derrickhayes.com

 

14 Action Steps To Move Through Loss

Hi OurHopePlace.com,

I think the Action Steps to Move through Loss from my book,  From Sorrow to Dancing would be helpful to anyone who has experienced any type of loss.  I have been told by those who have experienced divorce and “loss of a dream” (aka miscarriage) that they have used these steps and found them helpful.   Perhaps your readers will find this useful…

“Action Steps to Move through Loss”…  taken from the book From Sorrow to Dancing,  by Marcy Kelly

1.  Journal your thoughts

2.  Ask for help and accept help

3.  Be around caring people and allow them to comfort you

4.  Give yourself and others grace to make mistakes

5.  Join a grief group and share your story

6.  Exercise

7.  Cry

8.  Put off making big decisions for at least a year

9.  Forgive those who have hurt you

10.  Do a personal check concerning your attitude.  Are you bitter?  If yes, learn to forgive.

11.  Thank those who have helped you.

12.  Plan activities and remain engaged in life.

13.  Realize that you are not alone.  God is always present.

14.  Have fun…try dancing!

Thanks for the help you are obviously giving to hurting people.  

Blessings, 

Marcy Kelly

Author, Speaker, and Certified Life Coach
From Sorrow to Dancing is available at 
www.fromsorrowtodancing.com
www.marcythecoach.com 

 

What make a mother (even if you child is not with you)? Yes, if you had a miscarriage, you are a mom!

With tears still in my eyes, cheeks wet, and a nose that needs to be blown, I have to share this with you… right away!

What makes a mother?  Check out this amazing YouTube video that talks to what makes a mother, even if your child is not with you.  My heart is breaking for the child I lost and soaring for the child I have.  

The most difficult Mother’s Day I ever had was the one after my miscarriage.  The day we celebrate mothers, and I didn’t have my child with me.  So terrible.  I didn’t know it then, but It also turned out to be the best Mother’s Day in that we conceived our son that day.  Never give up hope!

I am off to dry my tears and blow by nose.  Get your tissues out.

 

Miscarriage Services Found Wanting…

Maternity staff are not always as sensitive as they could be to miscarriage sufferers, a new study from Ireland found.  

As a miscarriage sufferer this is not all that surprising to me (in fact, I wanted to write “well, duh”)… my own persoanl experience and many I know and have met would echo the same.  I thought my doctor was VERY chilly, I found the hospital to be very matter of fact.  Sure I get that they face patients with all kids of issues/grief every day.  But this was my baby.  ”Just pretend to show some human side of yourself”, was what I wanted to scream.  

As a result of my chilly experience, I changed doctor, practice and hospital.  I was fortunate, I had options.  Not everyone does.

This lack of support for women and their families who suffer is why we started www.OurHopePlace.com  We want to help friends help their friends.  
Check out the story on the study, check out Our Hope Place…  maybe studies like these and our website will help women and their families to heal.

 

My Miscarriage was 7 years ago, now I have 3 children, but I will never forget the pain

From a recent letter to OurHopePlace.com:

Thank you for the link to your website, www.OurHopePlace.com. My miscarriage was almost 7 years ago. I started cramping on a Saturday afternoon, and lost our baby on Sunday morning.  Monday I was scheduled for our first ultra sound.  The memories of it don’t fade, but the pain does lessen.  I was given an angel pin during that weekend that I still wear on tough days. Your bracelet is a thoughtful and heartwarming gift.  I was able to heal enough to now have three healthy children.  God has been good to us.

I visited many many websites, and joined various support groups, all on my own. It was private to me, and I kept everything bottled up for quite some time.  My husband was great, but it was months before I opened up to my co-workers and friends.  I can now openly talk of that pregnancy and loss, and share  our thoughts, our emotions, our story. 

 Don’t take this the wrong way, but, I hope I NEVER have to share your website with anyone close to me.  But if need be, I WILL!

Thank you for what you are doing.

Jean

 

Mother’s Day and Miscarriage: 5 years of Mother’s Day Since My Miscarriage

I will never forget Mother’s Day following my miscarriage.  Turns out it was a sad and a happy day all in one…

Sad:  well that is the obvious part, I wished I was pregnant.  I wished I was a mom… I wished I was very pregnant, with a healthy baby!

Happy:  Even if I wasn’t pregnant anymore, it was Mother’s Day, and my husband I have (great) mothers, and they deserved some celebrating.  I wasn’t sure if I would be up for it, in fact I dreaded the day, but when it arrived, I was ok.  Well, I was a little weepy in the morning, but a hot shower took care of that.  We went to a lovely brunch with my parents and my mother in law, and friends of my parents (their children were with in-laws).  My husband and parents were very thoughtful in planning the day — they suggested the brunch, they arranged for us to go to the non-kid seating.  We had great wines (yes, plural)…  and it turns out, we conceived our son that night.  He is now 4, and just came by to give me some cuddles.  :)

So that day I was dreading, turned out to be a pretty good Mother’s Day afterall!  (Isn’t that the understatement!)

Wishing you a Happy Mother’s Day!

 

Good News: Adoption Approved, Good “Things” Do Come To Those Who Wait

I usually write about hope after miscarriage.  We feel that in the midst of the devastation of miscarriage, it is good to know you aren’t alone, and that others have gone on to have happy stories.   Today I am delighted to write about hope and some of the most wonderful news!!!  

A friend just told us that they will be blessed with the arrival of  their baby soon… A birth mom selected them and she is due in 6 weeks (plus or minus 2 weeks, you know how babies have their own sense of time).  A long road, a 6 year journey —  trying naturally, surgeries, multiple IVFs, and miscarriages —  that ended in the couple focussing on adoption.  Now they only have 6 weeks.  This is so exciting!  Say a prayer that all goes well with the rest of the pregnancy, the delivery, and the adoption.   

And one last note to my friends:  you have been through so much, you truly deserve this happiness!  We couldn’t be happier for you both!