April 3, 2011
From a contact at OurHopePlace.com
What I wish I knew at 20 that I know now…
When you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, remember that every job you take, mistake you make or relationship you leave are allstepping stones down the path of the person you are meant to be. Even though you can’t see it now, you have a purpose and a destiny that will be revealed as time goes on. So be patient and open to the experiences that life brings you. And, enjoy the journey!
-Angela
February 12, 2009
To answer the question: What advice would I give my 20-year old self, knowing what I know now:
Susan
Advice from the Blender
Driftword Creative Services, LLC
email: driftword@cox.net
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February 11, 2009
If I could’ve given my 20 year old self wise words, here’s what they would’ve been (from two books I read in my late 20′s/early 30′s):
1. “Now that I don’t have to be perfect, I can be good.” (from East of Eden ) The pressure to have everything be perfect, or to be perfect myself, was deeply damaging and pushed me to make some really bad decisions and led me to always comparing my worst to other people’s best (which is all we usually get to see of them.) In my teens and early 20′s, I would keep trying to tweak things, keep searching for “just the right” thing/person/place. I passed up opportunities, and some really nice men, because either they didn’t look good enough – or I thought I didn’t. I was chronically late everywhere because I had to be sure that my appearance was “just so.” Heaven forbid if I broke a perfectly manicured nail! I’m proud that one of my teen son’s favorite expressions is “pretty good’s good enough” – he tries his best and leaves it at that. I’ve learned to do just that, too, though sometimes I still need a reminder. 
2. “Remember it’s written in the Good Book that trouble shall come to pass, but nowhere is it written, child, that trouble shall come to stay.” (from another novel, don’t remember the name, but a grandmother was speaking to her teenaged granddaughter.) Not only did this apply to recovering from mistakes or failures, it was especially helpful in the area of relationships. I was one of those girls who felt everything in the extreme so I believed that every mistake would be fatal, or at least “ruin my life forever!” Because I loved deeply, without reservation and with commitment, I believed everyone else did, too, so when a relationship ended, it felt like a part of me died as well and I would never recover. I did, and went on to have other great loves and successes. In my mid-30′s I managed a customer service department in a high-stress medical field so any little mistake we made – missed a shipping deadline, made a typo so the wrong sized product was sent, etc. – could have had a negative impact on a patient’s health and well being at worst, sent a prestigous doctor into a rage or, at the least, screwed up the hospital’s, doctors’ and patients’ schedules for a day or two. So naturally we each had days when we felt like we carried the weight of the world because we’d slipped up on something. One of my reps made a little needlepoint tapestry that said “And this too shall pass” and we hung it on the front wall. When one of us was having one of those days, it moved to our cubicle so we could read and reflect on it to regain our equalibrium. It always helped so by the time we left, or at least returned in the morning, we were back on track and the plaque was back on the wall.
Alicia
February 9, 2009
Dear OurHopePlace.com,
I have been through many challenging experiences including: going from homelessness to attending Harvard; healing from a near-fatal car crash and multiple family deaths.
February 9, 2009
February 8, 2009
HI OurHopePlace.com,
My advice: I wish I had known that being fully who I am and not being like some else is the key to happiness and fulfillment. Comparing myself only leads to heart ache.
MY Bio: Jennifer Howard, Ph.D. is an internationally known licensed psychotherapist, Integrated Kabbalistic Healer®, Integrated Energy Healer, life coach, author, relationship expert and professional speaker. She is a co-founder of the Healing Path Center and maintains a private practice with offices in New York City and Huntington , L.I., New York , as well as an extensive phone practice. As a psychotherapist, Dr. Howard brings together her more than 20 years of experience, extensive training and expertise in mind-body psychology, meditation, and a variety of the healing arts. She has been a faculty member of the graduate studies program of A Society of Souls and is currently a supervisor.
Warmly, Jennifer Howard, Ph.D.
January 22, 2009
Dear OurHopePlace.com,
I’m responding to your query to HARO about sharing stories about what I’d wish I’d known about when I was in my 20’s.
My name is Tanya Maslach and I’m President of Elevati, Inc. (www.elevati-inc.com and www.elevati-inc.com/blog) a company devoted to energizing people to to practice the one skill most important for creating long-term success and fulfillment in business (and life) today — RELATIONSHIP BUILDING. I argue that we get “too much college, and not enough kindergarten”.
The one thing I would share that I didn’t appreciate or practice well in my early 20’s was the importance of reaching out and building genuine relationships in a variety of networks. Even though I was outgoing and extroverted, I was too tightly focused on myself and my career….and not quite sure how to meet and become involved in others first.
Thank you! Warm Regards,
Tanya
www.elevati-com/about.html
January 22, 2009
From a recent contact at www.OurHopePlace.com, where we asked people for sage advice…
Toni L. McSorley sent us this passage from her new book (due out later in 2009), “The Meaning Filled Life”.
There are many times it is difficult to be grateful. Losing a job, ending a relationship, suffering the grief of loss of loved ones, finding you’ve been back-stabbed by a trusted friend, or having your home destroyed by fire or tornado are just a few examples. There are moments when life rolls over us like a huge, dark bowling ball and we feel utterly flattened, completely defeated, even hopeless. In the face of these times, someone tells you to feel grateful and the only feeling you can summon is the desire to hit them in the mouth.
Yet the flame has not gone out inside us. As long as it burns, however low, there is knowledge that it can be fanned anew and return more brightly than before. The wind encourages this flame is gratitude.
“I’m glad for the lessons and experience from this job and I know that it will ensure the next job will be better for me…”
“I am so glad for the good times I had in that relationship, for the joy and the love and the lessons learned that will help me in the next relationship…”
“I am so thankful for the good memories with my mother, that taught me about love, and that gave me so much in my life. She gave me the ability to be a better person…”
“I am glad that I had the chance to show my friend what loyalty was, and to be strong enough to withstand the hurt he caused me while valuing the time we had together as friends.”
“I am so glad that we were not in the house at that time, and that we survived what could have been a fatal situation. Only things were lost, not lives…”
You get the idea. It is not being foolishly optimistic, it is choosing to concentrate on that which gives us a chance at life instead of the long slide down into hopelessness and despair.
To learn more about Toni L. McSorley
Arts of the Samurai
Need health tips? See my Owl Wisdom Website:
www.tonimcsorley.com
Compassion is the foundation of a good life…
