Giuliana Rancic – Back at work

Our Hope Place is glad to hear that Giuliana Rancic is back at work today on E! News with co-anchor Ryan Seacrest after she underwent a double lumpectomy last Thursday.  Giuliana revealed last week that a recent mammogram had revealed early stage breast cancerand that she would have surgery and sometime next month radiation treatments.

We hope that after her treatments are complete – she can start a family of her own.  Has anyone else had a story like Giuliana’s and did you go on to get pregnant??  Let us know.

Read more: http://www.eonline.com/news/giuliana_rancic_back_on_news_i_have/271305#ixzz1blRJOo7h

 

Giuliana Rancic – Not the Good News of a Baby but Breast Cancer

Our Hope Place was hoping to hear great news from Giuliana Rancic  – was she pregnant??  Unfortunately she was not pregnant and had recently found out she has breast cancer – that is what she told TODAY’s Ann Curry this week.

We wish her all the best for a speedy recovery and will follow her journey to have a baby on her show “Giuliana and Bill,” (Style Network reality show) which details their struggles with infertility and attempts to conceive via IVF.

“Rancic had a message to share with women: “A lot of us think we’re invincible … but we have to start putting ourselves on the to-do list,” she said. “I had a friend call me yesterday, and she said, ‘I’m so sorry, can I do anything for you?’ And I said, ‘Just call your doctor tomorrow and make an appointment. That’s what you could do for me.’ … I will be okay because I found it early.”"

Full story -http://theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/10/17/8363134-es-giuliana-rancic-reveals-she-has-breast-cancer

Giuliana Rancic is on the E! Network and co-hosts “E! News” & “Fashion Police.” She is married to Bill Rancic, season one winner of Donald Trump’s “The Apprentice.”

 

Ibuprofen DOUBLES the Risk of Miscarriage; Even if you Take it the Night Before you Conceive.

So there seems to be a new medical report every day.  Often these reports conflict…  coffee is good for you, no it is bad, now it is good.  Same for red wine.

Well here is the latest, and I say why not be cautious.

Yes, that is right, there is a new study that shows ibuprofen DOUBLES the risk of miscarriage.  If one in 5 pregnancies (20%) ends in miscarriage.  If you take ibuprofen, this study now says your risk jumps to 2 in 5 (40%).  WOW!  But wait, they go even further to say, it isn’t just when you are pregnant, but you can’t take it the night before you conceive.

The study was carried out on comparing over 4,000 women aged between 15 & 45 and published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal.  Take a look…

 

 

 

Please Help – Send a letter to Governor Cuomo – Certificate of Still Birth Bill

With this bill the state recognizes stillbirth as a significant event that others can recognize.  Read below for more information.

If you can send the below snail mail letter, it would be very much appreciated!  If you forward to others, please stress that this is the only letter that can be sent to the Governor – no changes, no exceptions. Thank you!!!

 We have one last request to ask of you. We need letters mailed to Governor Cuomo. Lots of letters.

Below is the letter to use.  Those close to the Governor have strongly urged us to use this form letter, rather than write letters of support using personal stories. Our bill has unfairly been drawn into the pro-choice/life debate and we have made some concessions this year that has enabled it to pass both houses.

 

We can’t take any chances. We have one opportunity to let the Governor know how important this bill is. If he vetos the bill, we will need to start all over in January.

 

Once the Governor signs the bill into law, we will encourage you to write your own thank you note and share your stories, then. But for now, please only use the form letter below.

ENVELOPE:

Address and mail to: Kristin Ross, Legislative Secretary, Capitol Room 239, Albany NY 12224

On lower left corner of envelope write: “A.8178a / S.3111b In Support of Certificate of Still Birth”

LETTER:

 

[DATE]

 

Honorable Andrew M. Cuomo
Governor, State of New York
The Capitol
Albany, NY 12224

Dear Governor Cuomo,

On June 16^th the New York legislature overwhelmingly passed a bill to provide a Certificate of Still Birth. Bills A.8178a & S.3111b help provide much-needed comfort, dignity, and documentation to women and their families who have experienced the tragedy of stillbirth. This public health crisis devastates more than 1,700 New York families each year, and nearly 30,000 nationwide.

 

In [YEAR], I [my sister, my aunt, my brother, my friend, etc] suffered the stillbirth of my [son/daughter/grandchild/niece/nephew, etc] and saw family, friends and colleagues struggle to find words of comfort. With this bill the state recognizes stillbirth as a significant event that others can recognize.

 

All states, including New York, require the family to pay for funeral and burial or cremation expenses, and a death certificate is issued. Although a fetal demise is considered as both a birth and a death as per NYS Public Health law, until now New York did not consider the option of a Certificate of Still Birth.

 

This bill will increase awareness of stillbirth, and in doing so may stimulate the allotment of research funds to uncover the etiologies of stillbirth, most of which are unknown at this time. With more information, women and families will be better prepared to maintain healthy pregnancies.

 

I strongly urge your support of Assembly bill A.8178a and Senate bill S.3111b. Thank you in advance for helping countless New York families who have experienced stillbirth and are eagerly awaiting your support as the bill is signed into law.

 

Sincerely,

 

Name – Address – Phone

 

 

 

Father’s Day, Miscarriage & Grieving For Men

Father’s Day (June 19th) is coming up this weekend.  Celebrating often includes BBQs, baseball and families getting together.  But what happens if you are the man  & your wife/partner has suffered a miscarriage.  You may not be in the spirit to celebrate.  And that is OK.

Going with your gut instinct and doing (or not doing) what feels right for you on that day is what you should do.  Only by being true to yourself about your feelings toward celebrating Father’s Day will you be able to heal.  On our blog on June 7th we gave some suggestions on how to help get through the day – http://ourhopeplace.wordpress.com/

We would also like to include a link to Our Hope Place (www.OurHopePlace.com) where we have an expert talk about “Men, Women, Miscarriage & Grieving Styles” – we hope this helps – (see link below for complete information and chart)

Men, Women, Miscarriage And Grieving Styles
By: Paula Levy

Miscarriage is an emotional and confusing time for most couples.  There are few societal rituals for grieving for a miscarriage and the depth of this pain is not well recognized in our culture.   In addition, couples have little or no physical existence of their child (pictures, toys, memories) and therefore it becomes difficult for them to validate their loss in the usual ways.  Add to this mix the
fact that women and men usually grieve differently which can cause miscommunication, hurt and disappointment between them.  As a result, a mother and father can have vastly different reactions to a miscarriage.  In many cases, the mother doesn’t understand why her husband is not experiencing significant grief and the father doesn’t understand why his wife is so
devastated.  This can have profound implications for the marriage.

http://www.ourhopeplace.com/PaulaLevyExpert.html

Please let us know if you have a special way of celebrating Father’s Day after your miscarriage.

 

Father’s Day: Helping Dad after Miscarriage

Miscarriage and Father’s Day.  Miscarriage affects all family members.  Would-be-dads, grandfathers, uncles and brothers all experience their own grief.  While miscarriage is all too common, as a society we are not good at helping women or men with their loss.

Sunday, June 19th, 2011 is Father’s Day.  It is a day that day can be filled with many emotions.  As part of a couple we know this can be a stressful, sad day.  But there are things we can do to help…  we don’t have to “just ignore” it or not recognize it.  We know this all too well because we are two women who have experienced miscarriages with our husbands and have gone on to heal.  We created Our Hope Place (www.OurHopePlace.com) in order for friends (and family members) to help cope, hope and heal after miscarriage.

 

We have put together some suggestions to help you and your partner get through the day:

 

-Be true to your feelings.  As the man, you may think it will be easier not to show how you are feeling about the miscarriage as you think your emotions will upset your partner even more. (Men & women can grieve differently.)  You decide you want to stay strong to protect her but only end up feeling alone and isolated.  As the woman, you were thinking of how nice it would be to buy your partner a “father-to-be” Father’s Day card and now after the miscarriage —Father’s Day is just another reminder of your loss.  Take time to communicate before the day arrives.  Really express to each other how you are feeling about both the miscarriage and what Father’s Day will mean to you this year.

 

- Realize that your emotions can sneak up on you…  that you might think you will feel one way, but on the day a whole other set of emotions may set in…

 

-Be patient with each other.  Do not criticize each other (or yourself) for how you are feeling.  Grieving is a very personal process and should be respected. Do realize that everyone copes with the same loss in different ways.  You may not be able to take away your partner’s pain but letting your partner know that you are there for him/her and that you love each other will go a long way.

 

-Plan ahead to do something meaningful for both of you.  Take a walk with each other in a favorite park.  Plant some flowers or a tree in your yard to remember your baby.  Go to church and say a prayer.  Get together and enjoy time with your extended family.  Even stay home, order take-out and just enjoy each other’s company.  There is no “wrong” way to spend the day.

 

-Don’t be afraid to say “NO”.  Do what you both need to do on Father’s Day even if it means not participating in traditional family events.  Explain why you would rather not participate to your family.  (“Right now we are feeling too emotional to be with everyone on Father’s Day.”)

 

-Try to focus on the positive.  Being grateful for what we already had in our lives and thinking positively is what helped us with our healing process and led us to create Our Hope Place  (www.OurHopePlace.com).  We decided to share our friendship, a special bracelet of hope and it’s inspiring story to help others who have also experienced miscarriage.  (We have a special section for the partner/spouse to visit - http://www.ourhopeplace.com/partnertodo.html)

 

Only by being there for each other and celebrating Father’s Day together in your own way will you both be able to remember your loss, continue with your healing process and look to the future.

 

Here’s to celebrating Father’s Day your way,

 

Laura & Sharon

Co-Founders www.OurHopePlace.com

 

Thanks Oprah – you made me a better woman & mom

I have watched Oprah for many years – some shows I agreed with, others I did not finish watching and still some gave me my own “ah ha” moment.  After 25 years I wanted to say to Oprah – “Thank you for making me a better woman & mom.”

The top 4 things I remember about all those shows as told in my own words – meaning what I took away from the show:

1) Don’t hold a grudge – Oprah told a story about how she had a disagreement with a friend and Oprah was holding a grudge.  She talked about all the energy and time she spent thinking about the disagreement and this person until one day she saw that person “skipdeedee doing” down the street.  Oprah realized at that moment that her friend was not wasting time thinking of Oprah but had moved on.  It was only Oprah who had given that friend all the power by letting the disagreement take up her thoughts and brain power that could have been used for something more useful.

2) Oprah always quotes Glinda the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz – “You have always had the power” with the actual quote being from Answers.com -‘You’ve always had the power to go back to Kansas’ is the quote from Glinda the Good Witch about Dorothy Gale knowing all along what to do.

I think of this quote often as a mom, wife, daughter, friend & co-worker -  when I get “stuck” in life – whether I am trying to make a decision, get through a bad day or challenge myself with something new.  I realize the “power” is always inside of me -I just have to have the courage to grab it and go.

3) Mom stories – Oprah in her 25 years has had a lot of moms on the show – moms who inspired me, moms who went public with their embarrassing moments as a mom or moms who made me cry (tears of joy or sadness).    I thank Oprah and all those moms who made my life a little sweeter and sometimes easier because of the stories they told – but mostly thanks for letting me feel not alone in my quest to be the best mom (& woman) I can be.

4) “Take your pain and turn it into power”  an Oprah quote- one of the reasons that Our Hope Place (www.OurHopePlace.com) exists.   I believe that when something devastating happens to you (like a miscarriage) it helps to take that pain and channel it into something that will help others.  Once you see how you can help others, your pain lessens a little at a time and you feel empowered.

Have you learned anything from Oprah??? – let us know.

 

The Seven Wonders That Will Change Your Life

I just finished reading a unique book – “The Seven Wonders That Will Change Your Life” by Glen Beck & Keith Oblow.  I did not know what to expect when I opened the book but the following sentences from the book hit home with me.

They explained to me in words (all quotes below from their book) what we at Our Hope Place (www.OurHopePlace.com) try to do everyday with the story of our miscarriages – share how we feel, share how we think about what happened to us and hopefully help others who find themselves in the same situation-to not feel so alone.

Why we share our story at Our Hope Place:

“We understand that no person’s life is precisely like any other’s, but we also understand that one life story can reflect the challenges each and every one of us faces in attempting to love ourselves and others and pursue happiness.”

“No two human experiences repeat themselves exactly, but there are underlying patterns that occur again and again – patterns we can learn a tremendous amount from.”

“Why can one life, honestly told, influence many lives?  Why can human beings learn from the experiences, thoughts, and feelings of others?  What energy is being tapped when one person is willing to completely open his or her heart and soul to others?”

Helping others to not feel alone after their miscarriage:

“So many of us believe we are alone in our shortcomings and fears and challenges and questions and hopes and dreams that we must keep ourselves undercover, lest we be seen for the imperfect people we are.  But nothing could be further from the truth.  There is far more that connects us than separates us.  We are all struggling.  We are all on difficult, sometimes tortuous, journeys that are really meant – designed, in fact, by God – to lead us to the best in ourselves.”

If you have experienced a miscarriage or know someone who has – please take a minute to tell them about www.OurHopePlace.com so that “one human being’s intensely personal tests and triumphs can be harnessed to the good of countless others. “

 

Mother’s Day after a miscarriage is hard… Some ideas to help…

I remember the Mother’s Day after my miscarriage… we had a great lunch with spectacular wines…  I did as much as I could to focus on the positive.  We think we conceived our son that day as well…  but I know going through the day was hard.

So ere are some suggestions to help get you through the day:

-Recognize your true feelings.  Don’t hide or discount them.  Part of you may want to celebrate Mother’s Day because you are a mom to the baby you lost.  You may want to celebrate with the  other “moms” in your life.  Ask your spouse or a family member to be your “soft place” that day.  Whenever you need a break, let this person take care of you.

-Be kind to yourself on Mother’s Day.  Try not to (read, don’t) criticize yourself for how you are feeling or put pressure on yourself.   Be your best friend and make the day special to you.

-Try doing something meaningful that will bring a smile to your face.  Plant a flower or tree to remember your baby.  Take a walk with your spouse.  Go to church and say a prayer.  Get together with the important women in your life.  Laugh with your family.  Even stay under the covers and read a great book.

-Don’t be afraid to say “NO”.  Do what you need to do on Mother’s Day even if it means not participating in traditional family events.  If you can find the words, explain why you would rather not participate to your family.  (“Right now I am feeling too emotional to be with everyone on Mother’s Day.”)  If that is too difficult, maybe your spouse or close relative can explain how you are feeling and why you will not be there on Mother’s Day.

-Try to focus on the positive.  Being grateful for what we already had in our lives and thinking positively is what helped us with our healing process and led us to create Our Hope Place  (www.OurHopePlace.com).  We decided to share our friendship, a special bracelet of hope and it’s inspiring story to help other women who have also experienced miscarriage.

Only by being true to yourself and celebrating Mother’s Day in your own way will you will be able to remember your loss, continue with your healing process and look to the future.

Here’s to celebrating Mother’s Day your way,

Laura & Sharon

Co-founders www.OurHopePlace.com

 

Happy Mother’s Day to Mariah Carey

Congratulations to Mariah Carey and husband Nick Cannon on the birth of their twins -  a son named Moroccan Scott and a daughter named Monroe.   The twins arrived last Saturday in Los Angeles – just in time for Mother’s Day.  Mariah had previously suffered a miscarriage before having the twins.  Welcome little ones!!!

Full story of names of babies:

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b240080_mariah_careys_baby_names_announced_are.html