“Blue Ivy Carter went home from the hospital with her famous mom and dad early on Tuesday, Lenox Hill Hospital officials confirmed to the Daily News and E! News.” – from Wonderwall.msn.com – full story:

http://wonderwall.msn.com/music/beyonce-jay-z-leave-hospital-with-blue-ivy-carter-1661153.story?ocid=answw11

According to Jay-Z’s new song “Glory” he references a miscarriage previous to the birth of Blue Ivy Carter – www.OurHopePlace.com wants to thank Jay-Z for talking about miscarriage in a popular song – the more we discuss miscarriage and how commonn it is – the less women (and their families) will feel alone after suffering through their own miscarriage.

Quoted from Access Hollywood:

“According to People, during a routine check-up where Jim Bob and Michelle were supposed to find out the sex of their 20th child, their doctor was unable to find the baby’s heartbeat. Michelle was told that she had miscarried in her second trimester.”

“The Duggar matriarch said they will still name the baby after they find out of it was a boy or a girl and they plan to hold a funeral service.”

Grieving after a miscarriage from www.OurHopePlace.com:

Some woman and their partners may choose to put their miscarriage behind them sooner and look to the future with hope, while others will take more time to get to that same place to begin healing.  

There is no right or wrong answer, amount of time to heal or way to go about it.  Allow your spouse the
time she needs.  Don’t pressure your friend in any preconceived way based on your time line or how
you would grieve.  

Grieving is a very personal process and should be respected.  Letting your partner know that you are
there for her will go a long way.

Men & Women grieve differently. 

A mother and father can have vastly different reactions to a miscarriage.  In many cases, the mother doesn’t understand why her husband is not experiencing significant grief and the father doesn’t understand why his wife is so devastated.  This can have profound implications for the marriage.

For more information on different grieving styles -

http://www.ourhopeplace.com/PaulaLevyExpert.html

For full Access Hollywood story -

http://tv.yahoo.com/news/michelle-duggar-miscarries-feel-heart-broke-telling-children-221738891.html

We hope that after her treatments are complete – she can start a family of her own.  Has anyone else had a story like Giuliana’s and did you go on to get pregnant??  Let us know.

We wish her all the best for a speedy recovery and will follow her journey to have a baby on her show “Giuliana and Bill,” (Style Network reality show) which details their struggles with infertility and attempts to conceive via IVF.

“Rancic had a message to share with women: “A lot of us think we’re invincible … but we have to start putting ourselves on the to-do list,” she said. “I had a friend call me yesterday, and she said, ‘I’m so sorry, can I do anything for you?’ And I said, ‘Just call your doctor tomorrow and make an appointment. That’s what you could do for me.’ … I will be okay because I found it early.”"

Full story -http://theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/10/17/8363134-es-giuliana-rancic-reveals-she-has-breast-cancer

Giuliana Rancic is on the E! Network and co-hosts “E! News” & “Fashion Police.” She is married to Bill Rancic, season one winner of Donald Trump’s “The Apprentice.”

Well here is the latest, and I say why not be cautious.

Yes, that is right, there is a new study that shows ibuprofen DOUBLES the risk of miscarriage.  If one in 5 pregnancies (20%) ends in miscarriage.  If you take ibuprofen, this study now says your risk jumps to 2 in 5 (40%).  WOW!  But wait, they go even further to say, it isn’t just when you are pregnant, but you can’t take it the night before you conceive.

The study was carried out on comparing over 4,000 women aged between 15 & 45 and published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal.  Take a look…

If you can send the below snail mail letter, it would be very much appreciated!  If you forward to others, please stress that this is the only letter that can be sent to the Governor – no changes, no exceptions. Thank you!!!

Going with your gut instinct and doing (or not doing) what feels right for you on that day is what you should do.  Only by being true to yourself about your feelings toward celebrating Father’s Day will you be able to heal.  On our blog on June 7th we gave some suggestions on how to help get through the day – http://ourhopeplace.wordpress.com/

We would also like to include a link to Our Hope Place (www.OurHopePlace.com) where we have an expert talk about “Men, Women, Miscarriage & Grieving Styles” – we hope this helps – (see link below for complete information and chart)

Men, Women, Miscarriage And Grieving Styles
By: Paula Levy

Miscarriage is an emotional and confusing time for most couples.  There are few societal rituals for grieving for a miscarriage and the depth of this pain is not well recognized in our culture.   In addition, couples have little or no physical existence of their child (pictures, toys, memories) and therefore it becomes difficult for them to validate their loss in the usual ways.  Add to this mix the
fact that women and men usually grieve differently which can cause miscommunication, hurt and disappointment between them.  As a result, a mother and father can have vastly different reactions to a miscarriage.  In many cases, the mother doesn’t understand why her husband is not experiencing significant grief and the father doesn’t understand why his wife is so
devastated.  This can have profound implications for the marriage.

http://www.ourhopeplace.com/PaulaLevyExpert.html

Please let us know if you have a special way of celebrating Father’s Day after your miscarriage.

Sunday, June 19th, 2011 is Father’s Day.  It is a day that day can be filled with many emotions.  As part of a couple we know this can be a stressful, sad day.  But there are things we can do to help…  we don’t have to “just ignore” it or not recognize it.  We know this all too well because we are two women who have experienced miscarriages with our husbands and have gone on to heal.  We created Our Hope Place (www.OurHopePlace.com) in order for friends (and family members) to help cope, hope and heal after miscarriage.

We have put together some suggestions to help you and your partner get through the day:

-Be true to your feelings.  As the man, you may think it will be easier not to show how you are feeling about the miscarriage as you think your emotions will upset your partner even more. (Men & women can grieve differently.)  You decide you want to stay strong to protect her but only end up feeling alone and isolated.  As the woman, you were thinking of how nice it would be to buy your partner a “father-to-be” Father’s Day card and now after the miscarriage —Father’s Day is just another reminder of your loss.  Take time to communicate before the day arrives.  Really express to each other how you are feeling about both the miscarriage and what Father’s Day will mean to you this year.

- Realize that your emotions can sneak up on you…  that you might think you will feel one way, but on the day a whole other set of emotions may set in…

-Be patient with each other.  Do not criticize each other (or yourself) for how you are feeling.  Grieving is a very personal process and should be respected. Do realize that everyone copes with the same loss in different ways.  You may not be able to take away your partner’s pain but letting your partner know that you are there for him/her and that you love each other will go a long way.

-Plan ahead to do something meaningful for both of you.  Take a walk with each other in a favorite park.  Plant some flowers or a tree in your yard to remember your baby.  Go to church and say a prayer.  Get together and enjoy time with your extended family.  Even stay home, order take-out and just enjoy each other’s company.  There is no “wrong” way to spend the day.

-Don’t be afraid to say “NO”.  Do what you both need to do on Father’s Day even if it means not participating in traditional family events.  Explain why you would rather not participate to your family.  (“Right now we are feeling too emotional to be with everyone on Father’s Day.”)

-Try to focus on the positive.  Being grateful for what we already had in our lives and thinking positively is what helped us with our healing process and led us to create Our Hope Place  (www.OurHopePlace.com).  We decided to share our friendship, a special bracelet of hope and it’s inspiring story to help others who have also experienced miscarriage.  (We have a special section for the partner/spouse to visit - http://www.ourhopeplace.com/partnertodo.html)

Only by being there for each other and celebrating Father’s Day together in your own way will you both be able to remember your loss, continue with your healing process and look to the future.

Here’s to celebrating Father’s Day your way,

Laura & Sharon

The top 4 things I remember about all those shows as told in my own words – meaning what I took away from the show:

1) Don’t hold a grudge – Oprah told a story about how she had a disagreement with a friend and Oprah was holding a grudge.  She talked about all the energy and time she spent thinking about the disagreement and this person until one day she saw that person “skipdeedee doing” down the street.  Oprah realized at that moment that her friend was not wasting time thinking of Oprah but had moved on.  It was only Oprah who had given that friend all the power by letting the disagreement take up her thoughts and brain power that could have been used for something more useful.

2) Oprah always quotes Glinda the Good Witch from the Wizard of Oz – “You have always had the power” with the actual quote being from Answers.com -‘You’ve always had the power to go back to Kansas’ is the quote from Glinda the Good Witch about Dorothy Gale knowing all along what to do.

I think of this quote often as a mom, wife, daughter, friend & co-worker -  when I get “stuck” in life – whether I am trying to make a decision, get through a bad day or challenge myself with something new.  I realize the “power” is always inside of me -I just have to have the courage to grab it and go.

3) Mom stories – Oprah in her 25 years has had a lot of moms on the show – moms who inspired me, moms who went public with their embarrassing moments as a mom or moms who made me cry (tears of joy or sadness).    I thank Oprah and all those moms who made my life a little sweeter and sometimes easier because of the stories they told – but mostly thanks for letting me feel not alone in my quest to be the best mom (& woman) I can be.

4) “Take your pain and turn it into power”  an Oprah quote- one of the reasons that Our Hope Place (www.OurHopePlace.com) exists.   I believe that when something devastating happens to you (like a miscarriage) it helps to take that pain and channel it into something that will help others.  Once you see how you can help others, your pain lessens a little at a time and you feel empowered.

Have you learned anything from Oprah??? – let us know.