From a recent contact to www.OurHopePlace.com
We have suffered through 3 miscarriages. The physical effects my wife went through were terrible (including depression). The emotional effects we both suffered were devastating. The fear with each subsequent pregnancy was crippling.
Our first miscarriage happened spontaneously; there was no warning. We were so unprepared. I will never forget it. Why weren’t we more prepared? Why don’t
doctors tell you about the possibility of a miscarriage. I have come to learn how common
miscarriage is (1 million in the US each year, 1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage) – why, why doesn’t the medical profession address this? There is conversation about lots of tests, miscarriage should be added to this list!
From my point of view as the husband of a wife who has suffered a miscarriage, I would say it is hard to really understand exactly what it is my wife went through. I loved our baby. I felt devastated when we suffered a miscarriage. But it wasn’t my body. I didn’t have hormones raging, I wasn’t the one suffering the physical effects.
I kept thinking how can a husband and wife really share if you don’t know exactly what your wife is going through? I wanted to share the burden. I wanted to carry the burden, to protect my wife, but how could I do that? I felt very much at a loss as how to help.
Even with 3 miscarriages, we clung to hope. You feel pain, but you can’t lose hope. What kept us going was speaking with medical experts. They couldn’t explain why we lost 3 babies, but they could help us with a way forward, a way to becoming parents – something we wanted more than anything. Medical advancements kept us focused and kept hope in our lives.
I am happy to say we are now 17 weeks pregnant; all looks good! Keep us in your thoughts and prayers and hopefully next Valentine’s Day there will be a special baby in our lives!
-Adam
June 29, 2009 at 11:22 pm
I appreciate so much the previous comments from fathers. My wife is six week pregnant, has dealt with a miscarriage in 2007 and it too was devistating. I feel so sad about that, and my wife is now pregnant, yet showing a mix of signs, low HGC levels, then a rise in them. It is an emotional roller coaster for us, but her especially. like the other fathers, I want to absorb the pain and sorrow of my bride and feel so helpless. My prayers are for all expectant mothers and fathers, please pray for us!